A Change Is Gonna Come
by ballistics belle
Summary: Part two of 'A Baby Changes Everything'. Steve is being held captive in North Korea while Danny is back in Hawaii trying to save him. Can they save both themselves and their marriage or is this merely the beginning of the end for them? McDanno
1. Best Laid Plans

**A/n: **So this first chapter is a little rough but it gets better, I promise. Also for any of you who are curious, FUBAR is a kind of military slang for something that is "fucked up beyond all recognition."

_A good plan executed now is better than a perfect plan executed next week.—General George Patton._

The mission was FUBAR from the very beginning.

The rain had started to come down harder as Steve and Mason loaded up their packs into the back of the Jeep that would take them up near the border. Once they were close, they then ditched the vehicle and crossed over into North Korea on foot. That was the relatively easy part of the whole plan. Once they were in North Korea, they then had to work their way towards the capital city of Pyongyang. Jenna's intel had Wo Fat held up in a house just outside of the city which they would try to infiltrate under the cover of darkness. Once inside, they would grab Wo Fat and take him back over the border to their base in South Korea. That was, if everything went right.

The problem with the plan was that there were far too many variables that could screw everything up. While it was easier to cross the border on foot rather than with a car, it didn't mean that there wasn't still a possibility of getting caught and then it was a long way from the border to the capital city with plenty of chances of being discovered. The capital city itself posed a huge risk because it was teeming with the North Korean military who would not take kindly to finding rogue Americans running around heavily armed. Then there was the house and whether Wo Fat was even still there and if they were walking into a trap. This mission should have taken months to prepare if there was even a chance of it being executed properly. But they didn't have months. Steve and Mason were willing to take their chances on a half cocked plan now over months of planning with the risk of another attack.

"Stop thinking." Mason whispered, looking over at Steve as they leaned against the back wall of the compound.

"Stop thinking about what?" Steve asked, trying not to sound like he'd been caught.

"About the fact that we're going to die." Mason replied with one of his little grins. Steve rolls his eyes at his friend's attempt to lighten the mood.

"Jesus Mase, you sure know how to make a guy feel better." Steve shook his head and laughed humorlessly.

'I'm sorry, but you just had this look on your face that you were doing that mind fuck thing again." Mason explained with a shrug.

"Mind fuck thing?" Steve asked, raising his eyebrows.

"You know, that thing you do where you overanalyze a situation and torture yourself with guilt over things that aren't even your fault? You get this look on your face like someone just kicked your puppy and it's the most horrible thing that you've ever experienced." Mason described as he checked over his weapon.

"Oh my god, you and Danny are going to get along just fine I know it." Steve said, laughing for real this time.

"Of course he'll like me. I'm a charming fella." Mason said with another one of his smiles.

"More like a snake charmer." Steve muttered under his breath. Mason heard it and just glared over at his friend.

The banter was purely an act. Deep down both of them knew the severity and intensity of what they were about to do. The light hearted talk and joking around was simply a way to relieve some of the stress so that they didn't psych themselves out before they entered the compound. They managed to make it from the border to the capital city without too much hassle which made Steve suspicious. It wasn't that he wanted to encounter problems but experience had taught him that if something seemed too easy it probably was. He knew that mason was thinking the same thing but neither of them was willing to verbalize their fears.

"So what's your master plan here, Smooth Dog? You just gonna knock on the door and blow him away when he answers?" Mason questioned.

"I was thinking of something a little more subtle than that." Steve frowned. "It's dark enough now. We should be able to make our move. You take the front, I'll stay here around back." He commanded. Mason gave him one last look before holding a hand out from him to shake.

"Good luck, brother. See you on the other side." Mason said before he disappeared off into the night.

Steve took a deep breath before he stood up and began to make his way towards the back entrance of the house. Using a bush as cover, he slipped the silencer onto his weapon and took out the two guards on either side of the door before they even knew he was there. He then crept up as quietly as possible to the house to try to slip in the back door. But before he could make it all the way to the house, the door opened and Steve found himself face to face with his nemesis.

"Hello Steve. I've been expecting you."


	2. Watching Airplanes

**A/n: **Wow! So nice to see so many of you follow me over from 'A Baby Changes Everything'. And y'all are so suspicious of everybody aren't you?

"_When you do nothing, you feel overwhelmed and powerless. But when you get involved, you feel the sense of hope and accomplishment that comes from knowing you are working to make things better."-Anonymous_

Danny closed his eyes and rolled his neck slightly as he tried to work out the kinks. He was exhausted. The kind of tired that sunk down deep into his bones and hung around with him all day like a lead coat. He had gotten very little sleep over the last few days. After the phone call from Steve/Wo Fat, he had been too amped to rest and most nights he just passed out on the bed for a few hours before he was up again to take care of Makayla while he was trying to figure out how to get into North Korea and get Steve back.

He had called Mary the other day and asked if she could come out and take care of the baby. He hated to pawn her off on someone else but with no nanny (he was still trying to wrap his head around _that_ one) and a missing husband, Danny knew he needed help to ensure their child received the care she needed-care he wasn't sure he could adequately provide right now. Mary had immediately agreed to come and her plane was due in this afternoon. Right now though, Danny was waiting on a different inbound flight.

One of the first problems that Danny knew he faced was that he knew he needed help. He knew that Chin and Kono would do whatever he needed to help him and Steve (if he could just swallow his pride and ask) but he also knew that they still needed more help. They needed someone with the connections and the abilities to pull something like this off. His first thought was to go to the Governor for help but she quickly shot him down. Steve was not on a State sponsored mission or official 5-0 business (at least not according to her) and so there was nothing she could or would do for them. It had taken all of Danny's self control not to scream or hit something (or someone).

So after she shut him down, he went back to Steve's papers again searching desperately for a name. After another late night on the couch surrounded by papers and beer, he found one—Commander Joe White. Danny vaguely remembered Steve talking about the man who had been his training officer and mentor for him when he was in the SEALs. Commander White had been a friend of John McGarrett and that was good enough for Danny to reach out to him for help.

To his credit, the man didn't seem fazed when Danny told him what Steve had done. It was almost as if he had been waiting for a call like this for awhile. The Commander was due in on the military transport that had just landed at Pearl and Danny was waiting for him by the Camaro parked just off the tarmac. He had no idea what the man was like but he was at the point where he was too desperate to care.

"Detective Williams?" Danny lifted his head up to see a bald man in BDUs walking towards him.

"Danny, please." He insisted as he held out a hand for the man to shake.

"Alright, Danny, then you call me Joe." The older man said.

"Thanks for coming all the way out here, Joe. I really appreciate it." Danny commented as he gestured for him to get in the car. "Don't take this the wrong way but you're kind of my last hope."

"Well you said it was a master of life and death." Joe reminded as he got in the passenger seat.

"Isn't it always with Steve?" Danny snorted as he got behind the wheel. He checked the rearview mirror and saw that Makayla was still asleep in her car seat buckled in the back seat.

"That your girl?" Joe asked, noticing Danny's stare. Danny nodded.

"Our daughter, Makayla. She's nine months old." He stated with a little smile.

"Family's a hell of a thing to try to protect." Joe commented.

"I tell myself that's why I this job—" Danny started.

"But some days it just doesn't feel like enough, does it?" Joe finished. Danny just frowned. "Tell me everything you know up to this point." Joe requested as he changed the subject.

"Unfortunately I don't know much more than what I've already told you. Steve purposely kept me out of the loop on all of this so all I have is what I've been told. Apparently he snapped after he found out that Wo Fat had used a rogue Mossad agent who posed as our nanny to dose our daughter and make her sick as a way to get to Steve. He got it in his mind that was the last straw and he had to stop Wo Fat once and for all." Danny stopped and took a slightly shaky breath before he continued with the next part. "I got a call two nights ago from Wo Fat. He's got Steve. How I don't know but he does. I talked to Steve. He's alive and I think he has time but I don't know how much." He admitted, trying to ignore the ache in his chest.

"I think you're right. If I know Wo Fat, he's going to torture Steve if only to prolong his own pleasure. We just have to hope Steve can hang on till we get there."


	3. Fear Is Not In My Vocabulary

**A/n: **Wo Fat is really hard to write. I just can't seem to get his voice right yet.

_It's hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head—Sally Kempton_

Steve didn't remember passing out. But if the shaky jittery feeling that was coursing through him was any indication, he would have to guess that Wo Fat had popped him with a stun gun before he could react. '_Some SEAL you are McGarrett' _he thought to himself. _'Civilian life has made you soft. If you were still active, Wo Fat would have had three center mass bullet holes before he could even blink.' _

He closed his eyes again and tried to clear the fog in my mind as he tried to assess his situation. The first thing he realized was the fact that his feet were barely touching the ground. He was tied up with his arms chained above his head causing him to gently sway back and forth like a human pendulum. He could feel the tugging in his bad arm and knew he would be dealing with a dislocated shoulder if he stayed this way for too long. Steve tried to flex his wrists to test how strong his bonds were and felt the rough metal dig into his wrists.

'_Shackles' _he noted. He looked down towards his feet, saw that they were left free and laughed humorlessly. He knew Wo Fat was screwing with him. There was no way Steve could unhook himself with his feet even if he could swing them up there.

"Go ahead you bastard! Play your games. I won't break!" Steve shouted, knowing that Wo Fat had to be near by watching him. As he expected, his enemy appeared through the door a few minutes later wearing that stupid suit and carrying a cell phone in his hand.

"I see you're finally awake." Wo Fat said calmly as he came to stand in front of him. "How are you feeling?"

"What do you want?" Steve asked, not willing to indulge the other man.

"That seems like a question I should be asking you considering you're the one who sought me out." Wo Fat replied.

"You know damn well why I'm here. You set me up." Steve spat, not likely the taste of the words in his mouth. It had all been a trap that his blind rage had caused him to fall into. "Where's Mason?" He demanded.

"Your friend is safe." Wo Fat insisted.

"Forgive me if I don't take your word for it." Steve sneered.

"I'm actually quite surprised at your choice of company. I would have thought for sure that you would have brought your partner along with you." The hairs on the back of Steve's neck began to rise.

"Danny doesn't have anything to do with this." He growled.

"But he's family, is he not? And family is what this is all about really isn't it?" Wo Fat replied cryptically. "Why don't we give him a call and let him know where you are." He raised the phone in his hand and pressed a few buttons before holding it against Steve's ear.

"_Detective Williams." _Steve heard his partner answer in a bored tone and his heart began to race. He knew he didn't have a lot of time and Wo Fat wouldn't let him say much so he had to be quick.

"Danny-"

"_Steve! Where are you? What's going on?" _Danny demanded, interrupting him.

"Danny listen to me—whatever he tells you to do don't listen to him alright?" He warned. Wo Fat quickly snatched the phone away from him.

"Detective Williams, it's nice to speak to you again." Wo Fat said, sending a glare towards Steve.

"_Wo Fat. What have you done to him?" _Steve could hear Danny growl and it almost struck a bit of pride down deep inside of him.

""Steve and I are just having a conversation. It seems he's come a long way just to see me and I would find it rude to turn him away from my home so soon." Wo Fat taunted.

"_Listen to me you sick son of a bitch. I'm going to find you and when I do, you better pray that all I do is kill you because otherwise you're going to learn a whole new definition of pain._" Wo Fat just smirked and Steve closed his eyes.

"That's quite a threat." He stated, smiling as he looked at Steve who clenched his jaw. Danny was about to fall into the same trap as he had.

"Danny! Danny no!" Steve shouted, hoping that Danny would hear him and understand him.

"_That's not a threat-it's a promise. If you hurt Steve, if you damage even one hair on his head I swear to god I'll destroy you."_

"Well then, I guess we'll have the pleasure of meeting again." Wo Fat looked pleased and Steve wanted nothing more than to kick him in the face.

"_Trust me you bastard, the pleasure will be all mine._" Wo Fat clicked the phone off and turned his full attention back towards Steve but didn't speak.

"You don't know what you've just done." Steve said, his voice threateningly low. "You just signed your own death sentence."


	4. Noted and Accepted

**A/n: **So I really liked Joe in the beginning and was kind of mad when they made him a bad guy so I'm not going to do that. And on a completely random note, I love how the bromance is back on the show. And all we had to do was get rid of Lori to get the love back :)

_You can't undo anything you've already done, but you can face up to it. You can tell the truth. You can seek forgiveness. And then let God do the rest.-Anonymous_

Chin sat outside on his bike, not getting off right away as he sat outside the McGarrett-Williams home. He wasn't sure how welcome his presence would be right now. It was clear that Danny had been avoiding both him and Kono the last few days and deep down he knew that the younger man had every right to feel the way he did. Chin felt like he had betrayed his friend by not telling him what was going on sooner. He had always felt a sense of obligation to Steve because of the relationship that he had with his father but as he looked back over what he had done, Chin realized that the only thing he owed Jack McGarrett now was to keep him his son and his family safe and by not telling Danny (who could have potentially stopped this whole mess) he had failed in a way.

"Are you just going to sit there Chin Ho Kelly or are you going to actually come inside and say hello to your goddaughter?"

Chin looked up towards the front of the house and saw Danny leaning against the front door with his arms folded across his chest. He put down the kickstand on the bike and slowly walked up to where the shorter man was standing. Danny stayed standing in the doorway, not allowing the other man to enter just yet.

"Listen, Danny—" Chin started. Danny held up a hand to stop him.

"Please, let me go first." He requested. Chin nodded. "While it bothered me that you kept such a massive secret from me for such a long period of time even when you knew I was desperate for answers as to what the hell was wrong with my partner, I think I understand why you did it. Steve asked you for a promise and you were being a man of your word because that's the kind of person that you are. So while I may have felt that your intentions were slight misguided, they were in good faith. So, I'm sorry for being a jerk. It's unfortunately my default reaction most of the time." Danny explained with a little shrug.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, brah." Chin said as he reached out and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I should have known better than to treat you like that. You were just trying to have your partner's back because that's the kind of guy you are. i said I'd be in your corner and I promise I still am if you'll let me." He said sincerely.

"Apology is noted and accepted. So can we move and try to figure out how the hell we're going to save Steve?" Danny asked.

"Absolutely." Chin answered.

Danny stepped aside and allowed him to enter the house. The place looked a little bit like a disaster zone with papers strewn all over the tables and baby toys littering the floor. It was clear that Danny didn't have time for housework lately. Either that or Steve was the neat freak of the two of them which wouldn't have surprised him in the least.

"I called in some extra reinforcements." Danny stated as he led Chin out back to the lanai where another man was already seated at the table with Makayla on his lap. "Lieutenant Chin Ho Kelly, meet Commander Joe White." Danny introduced.

"Chin." The Asian man said as he reached out a hand for the other to shake.

"Joe." The bald man replied as he shook the offered hand. Makayla reached out for her 'uncle' and Joe passed her over to him.

"Joe was one of Steve's training officers when he was in the SEALs and was also a friend of Steve's father." Danny added. Inside the house he heard his phone ringing. "Excuse me." He said as he darted back inside.

"You knew Jack?" Chin asked as he sat down across from the other man at the table.

"We served together in the Navy during Vietnam." Joe replied. "I take it from your expression that you knew him as well."

"He was my training officer when I first started with HPD." Chin replied. "He was a great cop and mentor." He added.

"He was a pretty damn good sailor too." Joe said with a smile. "Although I think his proudest accomplishments were Steve and Mary. Despite what Steve might have thought, those kids where most important thing to him."

"I think Steve's starting to understand now why Jack did what he did." Chin said, looking down at the little girl in his lap.

Become a father himself had helped Steve to come to terms with the decisions that his own father had made when he was younger. He and Mary hadn't been sent away because their father didn't care anymore but instead the exact opposite. Jack was trying to protect them just like Steve was trying to protect Makayla and Grace now.

"So, do you have some kind of plan on how to get Steve out of North Korea?" Chin wondered.

"I've got a call into a few people right now trying to finalize some details but I should be able to head over there within the next twenty four to forty eight hours." Joe answered without giving much detail.

"I'm going with you." Danny declared as he reappeared back outside. Chin noticed the anger wrinkles that were still apparent on his face and wondered who was on the phone to get Danny that worked up.

"I'm afraid I can't allow that, Danny. It's too much of a risk." Joe replied in an almost parental tone.

"I don't care if you allow it or not. I'm not asking your permission. I'm going with you. That's my partner out there and I'll be damned if I'm going to just sit back here and do nothing." Danny exclaimed.

"If Danny's going, I'm going." Chin stated. Joe gave him a look. "I helped Steve get into this mess, it's only right I help him get out of it." He explained.

"Alright, you can both come. But I'm warning you right now—there's a good possibility that this turns into a recovery, not a rescue." Joe said grimly. Chin looked over at Danny who had paled slightly.

"Understood." He confirmed while Danny just nodded.

"Alright then, here's my plan…"


	5. As You Wish

**A/n: **I know these first few chapters have been a little slow but I promise it's going to get heavy real quick so just stick with me a little longer.

_And it's hard to love when there's so much to hate, hanging onto hope when there is no hope to speak of. And the wounded skies above say it's much too late. Well maybe we should all be praying for time. ~George Michael / Carrie Underwood, Praying For Time_

Steve wasn't sure how long he had been hanging there before the door to his cell opened again and a camouflaged lump was thrown into the room with him.

"Mason?" He called out. The lump grunted and began to unfold itself on the floor. Eventually the other SEALs face became apparent and Steve let out a sigh of relief. Mason looked a little dirty and bruised but otherwise no worse for the wear.

"This is a fine mess you've gotten us into." Mason complained as he tried to get his feet out from under him.

"I'm sorry Mase. How'd they get you?" Steve inquired.

"A good ole fashion clubbing over the head. You?" He informed, unconsciously going to rub the back of his head only to be stopped by his shackles.

"Stun gun." Steve replied.

"Damn." Mason winced. "What's he done to you?" He asked, wondering what kind of torture his friend had already endured.

"He called Danny." Steve said and Mason knew that was worse than any physical injury the other man could suffer. "Danny threatened to torture and kill him. He's on his way here Mase. He's going to try to save me." Steve declared, sounding sadder than he should have for such a statement. Mason got it though. Everything Steve had done was to try to keep his partner out of this and instead he now put him right smack dab in the middle of it.

"Do you trust him? And I'm not talking about as a lover. I'm talking about as a cop. Do you trust him?" Mason asked.

"He wouldn't have been my partner to begin with if I didn't trust him professionally. God knows he's saved my ass more than a few times on the job because he's had my six." Steve replied vehemently.

"Then you have to trust him now to save it again. There's nothing else you can do." Mason stated. Steve sighed and before he could reply the door opened again and Wo Fat entered the room.

"As you can see I am a man of my word. Your friend is unharmed." He said as he stood next to Mason. "Of course, whether he stays that way will be up to you, Steve. Because you see, I need answers and you have a need to protect those close to you. So as long as you answer my questions without hassle, then your friend won't have to suffer." He explained. Steve swallowed roughly. Wo Fat knew his weakness and how to exploit them to cause him the most pain. It made his desire to kill the man that much stronger.

"McGarrett don't listen to this son of a bitch. He doesn't have the balls to do any real damage." Mason exclaimed.

Steve tried not to wince as Wo Fat popped his friend right in the mouth with a hard punch and watched him spit blood on the floor. It was stupid for Mason to talk like that, but he knew what the SEAL was trying to do. It was his way of telling Steve that he could handle whatever was about to go down.

"Your friend is brave." Wo Fat said as he flexed his fingers. "But his bravado won't save him—or you—if you don't give me the answers that I want. Do you understand?"

"You won't get anything from me. I won't break and neither will he. So go ahead, do your worst. You'll just die tired." Steve growled as his nemesis came to stand before him. Wo Fat just stared him dead in the eye and curled his fingers back into a fist.

"As you wish."

* * *

><p>The loud purr of the C130 was the only noise that could be heard as the three men sat in silence in the back of the military transport plane. Joe and Kono were sleeping, Chin seemed to be meditating and Danny was lost in his own thoughts. They had been flying most of the night and still had a few hours left before they landed, but the Detective's thoughts were back in Hawaii.<p>

Mary had arrived to take over the care of Makayla and Danny couldn't help but marvel at her strength. On the outside, she seemed calm and collected despite the knowledge that her brother was trapped in the hands of a sociopath, but Danny could see the fear in her eyes. He wanted to be able to reassure her somehow but he couldn't think of anything to say. He did make sure she was armed and prepared just in case this bastard decided to fight a two front war. He had spoken to Duke and asked him to have HPD keep an eye on Mary and the house while they were away.

He and Chin would have preferred for Kono to stay behind, partly because of Chin and Danny's slight chauvinism that they didn't want anything to happen to her but also in case they needed someone back home to use as a resource, but Kono would not be left behind. She had insisted upon coming with and once Danny had explained to Joe that she was a valueable assest to have because of her abilities in hand to hand combat as well as having a scary accurate shot, he had allowed her to come along as well.

The hardest part had been leaving Grace. Makayla was far too young to be able to understand any of what was going on around her but Grace was old enough to comprehend at least some of the implications of what this all meant. He didn't want to lie to her about the situation but he also didn't want to scare her with the truth. So he settled for telling her that Steve had to go somewhere far away to find a bad guy and that he needed Danno to come be his back up. There was no point in telling her that the bad guy already had Steve and that it was up to Danno and his friends to go save him when he couldn't guarantee that he would bring Steve back (alive or dead). He could tell that Rachel knew there was more to the story but she didn't ask him for details, not that he probably would have given them to her in her condition anyway.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Danny looked over and saw that Joe was awake and looking over at him.

"Do you ever want to freeze a moment in your day, look at it and wonder 'how the hell is this my life?" Danny pondered aloud.

"Oh, a few times." Joe nodded with a little smile. "What about your life right now is so unbelievable?" He wondered.

"You mean besides the fact that I'm currently on a plane to South Korea to save my husband from the crazed sociopath that is holding him captive and wants him dead?" Danny said deadpanned.

"I guess I see your point." Joe said, laughing a little.

"It's just that, nothing about my life with Steve has been what I'd call easy. There's always something, some obstacle in our way whether its work or family or crazed psychos that keep getting in the way of us being able to live a 'normal' life." Danny admitted, running a hand over his tired face.

"Is it possible for you two to be 'normal'? I mean, with your careers and lifestyle choices, 'normal' kind of leaves the equation." Joe pointed out.

"I'm not asking for a 'Leave It to Beaver' kind of life but I'd like to be able to come home with my husband every night and raise our daughters together and watch them grow up. I don't want to have to worry about whose out to get us and whether it's safe to let my children out of my sight. Is that really too much to ask?" Danny inquired.

"No, it's not." Joe agreed. "You want things every spouse and parent does and you have the right to want it. I think Steve wants it too. It's why he did this. He wanted to try to make that possible for his family." He explained. The two men were quiet for a minute as the tried to absorb what the other had said.

"Joe," Danny said softly. "Do you really think we're going to get there in time?" He asked and Joe could see the fear and desperation in the younger man eyes. Danny was looking to him for some kind of hope to cling to right now but Joe just wasn't sure that he could give him anything to worth hanging onto.


	6. For I Intend To Go In Harm's Way

**A/n: **Sorry to change the name on you in the middle of things but All We Ever Find was my working title and I didn't really like it so I changed to something more fitting. Also, a point of clarification I guess I should make: Steve is being held captive in NORTH Korea but their camp is set up in SOUTH Korea because North Korea is not very friendly to the United States so it makes more sense to make camp in South Korea and that's where the team is headed now. Hope that clears things up. Also, I'll warn you that the language is a little rough and will be from now on.

_The only easy day was yesterday—Navy SEALs Motto_

"_I wish to have no connection with any ship that does not sail fast, for I intend to go in harm's way."—John Paul Jones _

"Hey Steve?" Mason called out when the two men were left alone again. He tried to brace his one arm against his side as he scooted himself towards the wall.

"Yeah?" Steve replied, sounding out of breath as he swung slightly.

"Can you breathe?" Mason asked.

"No." Steve grunted his reply.

"Good, neither can I." Mason sighed as he leaned his battered body against the cool concrete wall.

They had just been left alone after their first 'session' with Wo Fat who had used a blunt object to help enhance his interrogation of Steve. Every time Steve refused to answer one of his questions, both he and Mason were cracked in the side or abdomen with a something akin to a lead pipe. It wasn't just that Steve was being stubborn, he honestly didn't have the answers to some of the questions that were being asked.

"Anything broken?" Steve inquired, noticing that his friend was favoring one side. Mason shook his head.

"A few cracked ribs probably but I haven't popped a lung yet so I think we're good." He said, taking a shallow breath. "You want to tell me what the hell that was all about? Who or what the hell is Shellburne? It doesn't ring any bells of anything you and I ever did together."

"It's not from any of my missions that I know of." Steve countered.

"Well it means something to him because he keeps fucking asking about it." Mason declared. "Could it be something to do with 5-0?" Steve shook his head as best he could.

"No. Whatever it is, it's something personal, something that has to do with my past…fuck if I know what it is though." He thought aloud.

"Great. We're going to get our asses beat over something that you may or may not have done to this guy at some point in his life. Just great." Mason complained as he shifted to try to find a more comfortable position with his cracked ribs.

"I'm sorry Mase." Steve said for what seemed like the thousandth time since this whole thing started.

"Don't be sorry." Mason snapped. "Just start thinking about what the hell this Shellburne thing could be while I try to figure out a way to get us out of here."

* * *

><p>Lieutenant Commander Ethan Beck had seen some odd teams over the years as a SEAL. Some times when things were bad in combat zones guys got thrown together into rag tag teams to accomplish a mission when personnel was low but the combination of people standing before him now took the cake. Two of them looked as though they would fit right in with the native and the shorter man with them looked completely out of place standing in the middle of the jungle with his button up shirt and blue jeans. The only one of the bunch that looked like he belonged in the camp was the elder statesmen of the group.<p>

"Commander White, it's nice to see you sir." Beck greeted as he reached out a hand for Joe to shake.

He had recognized the Commander right away. The man was a bit of a legend around the bases in San Diego. He hadn't been trained by him personally but he knew that Commander McGarrett and Captain Mason had been so he had faith that if anyone was going to fix this disaster it would be this man.

"This is Commander McGarrett's team." Joe said, gesturing towards the three people standing behind him. "Meet Lieutenant Chin Ho Kelly, Officer Kono Kalakaua and—"

"Detective Danny Williams." Beck supplied as he took a step towards the blonde and held out a hand to him. "You're Steve's partner. I recognized you from the pictures he had with him on the last deployment." He added.

Danny didn't know how to respond. He was Steve's partner in many ways and he knew that Steve hadn't been completely "out" during his last deployment so he just nodded and shook the other man's hand. He didn't want to make things difficult for Steve with a man they needed to help save his life.

"What's the situation, Beck?" Joe asked, getting straight down to business. The SEAL led the group over to the table he had set up with maps and other plans.

"The plan was that the Commander and the Captain would cross over the border into North Korea where they would capture the target and bring him back to our camp where he would be interrogated. It's been almost four days now since they left and we've had no word from them since they checked in to say they were in the capital." Beck explained. Joe seemed to be listening carefully but Danny couldn't help but roll his eyes. This had all the markings of one of Steve's half cocked plans written all over it.

"What's the back-up plan?" Joe asked.

"If we didn't hear from them in a couple of days, we were supposed to contact you and let you know that something had gone wrong. You just beat us to the punch sir."

"You can thank the target for that. He contacted Detective Williams to inform him that he had captured the Commander. I assume he has the Captain as well." Joe stated.

"Damn." Beck muttered under his breath. "Well we can follow the same path that they did to get in country, assuming that they haven't been moved to a different location. It'll definitely be easier to storm the compound with six people rather than two. The only problem that I see is the exit. We have got to be quick getting out because by now it's not just the target that knows we're here but probably the North Korean government and they're not going to be happy if they find a bunch of American, military or not, running their country trying to assassinate their people." He declared. Danny tried not to let his eyes bug out at the end. Assassination? What the hell was Steve planning to do over here?

"You let me worry about that. I've got someone who might be able to help. Now, where's your partner?" Joe inquired.

"Major Matthews is getting all of our gear in order." Beck replied.

"You boys brought a Marine with you?" Joe said with a surprised look on his face.

"Captain Mason thought it would be a good idea." Beck responded with a knowing smile. Joe rolled his eyes.

"I always knew Mason was insane." He muttered under his breath.

"Matthews is young sir, but he's got a lot of balls." Beck pointed out.

"Haven't met a Marine yet who didn't." Joe stated. Danny, Chin and Kono all just looked at each other, knowing that they were clearly missing something. Joe clapped his hands together and gave them all a little smile. "Well, let's not keep the boys waiting, shall we?"


	7. The Nerve to Blame You For It

**A/n: **Again, I'm sorry about the name change but I really wasn't feeling the other one. I am going to warn you that this one is going to get a little dark for awhile but we'll eventually get to a happy ending.

'_A House is Not a Home' I hate that song. Is a house really a home if your loved one is gone? And they got the nerve to blame you for it but you know you would have took the bullet if you saw it. But you felt it and still feel it.—P Diddy, Coming Home_

"_All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair." -Mitch Albom , Five People You Meet In Heaven_

It was nighttime. Or at least Mason thought it was nighttime. It was hard to keep track of time in a cement bunker that didn't allow much light in. He tried to keep time in his head but there were a lot of things that kept distracting him-like the constant beatings that they were both suffering. Wo Fat was still trying to extract information from Steve about that Shellburne thing and Steve still didn't seem to have any idea what the man was talking about.

Unfortunately, the bastard had figured out that beating on Mason didn't seem to do much for the other man so he focused most of his attention on Steve if only for his own pleasure. He also knew exactly which buttons to push to get a reaction from the SEAL. Wo Fat had brought up Steve's father which was a ballsy thing to do considering he was the man who was ultimately responsible for John McGarrett's death. Mason could see that his friend was trying not to let it show, but it was clear that it was killing him to have to hang there and listen to his nemesis tear down the respectable image that Steve still had of his father with his cruel accusations.

"_They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. It was men like your father who paved those roads. Do you think he ever felt remorse for the things he did? For the things he made possible? Or do you think he spent the rest of his life just like you, believing he was completely justified in his actions because it was his 'sworn duty'?" Wo Fat asked rhetorically as he worked on his new torture system. _

_He had shackled both of Steve's ankles separately so that his legs now hung about a shoulder width apart. He had then cranked the shackles that held his wrists up slightly closer to the ceiling so that his body was now being slowly and agonizingly pulled apart. Mason could only imagine the kind of pain his friend was in. His shoulder was already most likely dislocated from simply hanging there for so long. Adding a slight pull was only going to separate it further. _

"_My father was an honorable man who had a good reason behind everything that he did." Steve defended even though he had no idea what the other man was talking about._

"_Are __**you **__an honorable man? Do __**you**__ regret the things you've done in your life?" Wo Fat asked, turning the tables on him. "Do you think your daughter will grow up defending you the way you defend your father? Or will she see you as her broken hero, the man who loved her but could just never get past his demons?" _

_Steve lunged towards Wo Fat and Mason tried not to wince as he could see the pain the movement had caused the SEAL as his hip had not turned in the same directions as the rest of his body. Steve clenched his jaw and tried to a deep breath as he tried to swallow his scream._

"_Leave my daughter out of this." He growled._

"_But isn't she the reason why you're here?" Wo Fat taunted. "Every child is scarred by their parents. Your father did it to you, you've done it to your child, she'll eventually do it to hers. It's the vicious evolution of families. How deeply those scars will ultimately lie is up to you and your actions. Personally, the best thing you can do for her is to stay away. You'll only cause her heart ache in the end just as your father did to you." _

It was hard for Mason to remember the words that had been so methodically thrown at this friend because he knew the damage that they had done. For Steve, insinuating that he was hurting his child was worse than any physical wound that he could have inflicted upon him. Hurting the people he loved was the last thing that Steve would ever want to do and if he thought that he was, he'd walk away no matter how painful it was for him to do. But walking away from Danny and the girls would be the end of Steve. When this was all over, Mason was going to have to do some serious damage control. He wasn't about to let this bastard ruin his friend forever.

* * *

><p>"Hey, are you okay? You've been kind of quiet since we left the island." Chin asked as he sat next to his friend in the backseat of the truck.<p>

They had left camp before dawn and started on their way towards the border, hoping to reach it by midday. Lt. Commander Beck was driving the truck with Joe sitting up front with him. Major Matthews, Chin, Kono and Danny were all in the back that was covered, keeping them out of sight. Anyone from the outside would think that they belonged to one of the South Korean military bases and wouldn't question their presence.

Matthews was sitting near the back of the truck, standing guard with his weapon ready should they run into trouble. Kono was sat towards the front of the truck while Chin and Danny sat in the middle. It was a rough ride and under normal circumstances Danny would have complained about it. But nothing about this situation was normal.

"I'm fine, Chin. I'm just tired." Danny answered, trying to sound convincing.

It wasn't a total lie. He hadn't been sleeping well since long before all of this started and since he received the phone call he had been running mostly on adrenaline and caffeine. He had tried to get some sleep the night before when they were at the camp but his mind wouldn't shut down. There was a piece of the puzzle that he was missing. Something else was going on under the surface of the situation that he couldn't put his finger on and it was gnawing away at him. It left him with an unsettled feeling in his stomach because whatever it was, it had something to do with Joe.

"We're going to find him, Danny." Kono chipped in as she rubbed a hand down his arm in a soothing gesture. "Steve wouldn't leave you like that."

They had obviously misread the worried look on his face as concern for his partner and not the situation. Danny didn't bother to correct them. There wasn't much he could do about it now. He needed Joe if he was going to get Steve back. He just had to have faith that the older man intentions were purer than he perceived them to be at the moment.


	8. Tell Danny I Love Him

**A/n: **the language is a little strong in this chapter but they are military men so we'll cut them a break.

_If I were the adrift in the ocean, a vessel with no sail or steam, floating aimlessly on an endless sea, hopelessly lost it would seem. If all of the fish in the water, could echo my last dying plea, well I know you might not understand it, but here's what I'd want it to be. Tell Lorrie I love her, tell Lorrie I need her,tell her everything would be okay if I could just see her. Tell Lorrie I love her, tell Lorrie I need her and if I leave this old world tell her she's the only girl for me.—Keith Whitley, Tell Lorrie I Love Her_

Steve was fading fast. He could feel his body slowly starting to shut down, unable to endure the abuse it had sustained. The beatings had left him battered and bruised but it was his hanging position that was ultimately doing him in. His shoulder was definitely dislocated and the muscles in his shoulder were slowly tearing apart. His left leg hung at an unnatural angle from this body and he feared that it may be dislocated as well. Both injuries were excruciatingly painful but it was his breathing that was the most troubling at the moment.

He'd been hanging with his arms above his head for days now and the position was slowly beginning to suffocate him. It was getting harder and harder to take a breath as his diaphragm struggle to contract. He needed help and while he wanted so desperately to hang on until Danny came to rescue him, the realist in him knew that his partner would probably be too late.

"Mase," Steve called out to his companion. His voice was starting to take on a raspy quality from a lack of water and his heavy breathing. "Are you awake?"

"Well if I wasn't I am now." Mason stated, trying to sound annoyed as he cracked an eye open and looked over at him. Steve could see that Mason was worried about him too no matter how hard he tried to disguise it. "What do you want McGarrett?" He inquired.

"I need you…. to do something for me." Steve requested. His chest heaved up and down as he wheezed, his emotions causing his breathing to become worse. Mason's eyes went wide as he put the pieces together in his mind and he then glared at him.

"Oh no, NO! You wait just a damn minute now. I know what you're going to ask me and I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to tell Danny a damn thing." Mason declared as he shook his head violently.

"Please, Cayleb." Steve begged. "I need you…to tell Danny and the girls…that I love them…and that I'm sorry." Mason clenched his jaw and shook his head. Steve could see a few tears in Mason's dark green eyes that he was refusing to let fall.

"I can't Steve. You have to tell them yourself." Mason insisted.

"I don't think…. I'm going to make it, Cayleb…. But I need them to know…that I never meant…for it to end…like this." Steve panted. Mason closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Alright Steve, I'll make sure they know. But only if you promise me that you'll hang on as long as you can. You can't give up on me just yet, you hear me?" He demanded. Steve barely nodded his head.

"I'm sorry I…got you caught up…in this." He said sincerely.

"What? This? I've been in worse situations than this with you, McGarrett and we got out of those just fine too." Mason reminded, trying to keep his tone the same.

"Still…would have been better…if I'd never called you….never would have…gotten caught." Steve pointed out.

"No, I wouldn't have gotten captured but you'd probably be dead so overall, this isn't the worst thing that could have happened to me." Mason countered as he rattled his shackles, trying to make a point. "Look, Steve, I know that this is a lot to handle and that in your mind you want to believe the crap that this bastard is telling you, but you have to know that none of it is true. You have to know that leaving Danny would be your worst mistake. You can still fix things with him. You can still have your family and be happy." He insisted. Steve just smiled at him sadly. If only it were that simple.

"Didn't peg you…as the…romantic type…. You still believe…in happily ever…after?" He joked. Mason slammed his fists down on the floor.

"God damn it McGarrett listen to me!" He shouted. "You cannot give up yet! You know that the boys are on their way by now, that Danny and probably the rest of your team are on their way right now. They are coming to _save you_, not recover _your body_. You need to suck it up and pull yourself together, Sailor. No one has given you permission to die yet so I am ordering you to hold the fuck on." Mason said, using his best drill instructor voice.

"You're not…my Commanding Officer…and I'm not…in the Navy….anymore." Steve replied.

"The hell you aren't! You may be a reservist but you are still an officer in the United States Navy and you will obey my orders or I'll bring your ass up on charges of disobeying a direct order and conduct unbecoming of an officer." He declared

"You… wouldn't." Steve shot back at him.

"Yes I would. Remember, you're the renegade, I'm the squared away one." Mason reminded.

"Ornery…bastard." Steve said with a small smile.

"Stubborn son of a bitch." Mason replied. Steve huffed a little laugh at the comforting and familiar banter.

"Love you…too Mase."


	9. A Punishment Like Me

**A/n: **And so it begins. I'm not really that great at writing action sequences so I hope I haven't totally screwed things up. We'll being getting back to what I do best soon which is- emotions of course.

_A friend is someone who, upon seeing another friend in immense pain, would rather be the one experiencing the pain than to have to watch their friend suffer.—Anonymous_

"_I am the punishment of God...If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you." -Genghis Khan _

Mason had a plan.

Normally he wasn't the type to play the hero and try to save the day without the proper resources or back but he didn't see himself as having any other choice. Steve was running out of time. He was fading in and out of consciousness and was rarely lucid even when he was awake. Mason knew that the boys were probably on their way. It was part of the back-up plan. If neither he nor Steve made contact within twenty four hours of their last communication with the boys back in South Korea then they were to assume that things had gone wrong and were to execute plan B which was essentially a rescue plan. So if Beck and Matthews did what they were supposed to do then they should be here soon. But after his last conversation with Steve, Mason just wasn't sure if Steve was going to be mentally able to hang on much longer. So he developed a back-up to the back-up plan.

He knew it wouldn't be long before Wo Fat would be back. This was the perfect opportunity for the bastard to inflict the most psychological damage. Steve was in bad shape and so he wouldn't be thinking straight which would allow his poison thoughts to take root in his mind. Mason knew this because he had done it. His days as a SEAL were hardly glorious and his skills were hardly the kind of thing anyone was going to be bragging about. He had seen and done his share of terrible things and after this experience, he was beginning to wonder if maybe it wasn't time to walk away from the Navy for good.

While he was waiting for Wo Fat's inevitable return, Mason worked on his shackles. At first he had been hoping that he could somehow pick the lock with the hair pin that the carried in his back pocket for such occasions but the pin was no match for the massive lock forcing him to rethink his plan. The chains that were attached to the shackles were bolted into the wall of the bunker that they were being held in. At first glance, they appeared to be made of concrete but the longer he stared at them the more he realized that they were actually limestone.

"You dumb bastard. You finally slipped up." Mason muttered to himself.

The weather had been wet recently and the limestone had absorbed the moisture, making it softer and easier to break down. He worked slowly, trying not to make too much noise as he used all of his force to pull against the chains. With enough strength and force, he would hopefully be able to pull the chains out.

He had gotten to the point where one or two more good pulls would release him from the wall when he heard footsteps approaching in the hallway just outside. Mason stilled and shuffled back against the wall to cover up his work as Wo Fat opened the door and strolled past him to take up his usual spot in front of Steve. In his hand, he held a long plastic rod with two electrical prongs at the end of it. It was some kind of tazer and Mason would be damned if he'd let this bastard torture his friend's already battered body any further. Wo Fat reached out and hit Steve in his already bad leg to wake him up. Steve came around with a gasp as the pain coursed through him. He then waited until he was sure he had his attention before he finally spoke.

"There's a story I'd like to tell you." He started.

"Oh goody, story time. Let me go get my blanket and baba." Mason interjected as he jerked at his chains. Wo Fat took a hard look over his shoulder before he turned and landed a quick punch against Mason's cheek. The SEAL just shook his head and spit a bloody wad of saliva at his feet. "When are you going to realize that punching me is useless?" he mocked.

"When you realize that your input is not required." Wo Fat retorted. Mason laughed.

"The only way you're going to shut me up is if you kill me and I've been told that even _that's_ not a guarantee."

"What makes you think I won't kill you?" Wo Fat taunted.

"If you were going to kill me you would have done it by now. You don't like loose ends and you wouldn't want to keep me around long enough to give me a chance to escape." Mason smiled. His plan was working perfectly so far. He had managed to get Wo Fat distracted and turn his full attention to him instead of Steve thereby sparring him anymore pain as well as stalling for time.

"Even if you could manage to get yourself free, you'd never make it past this room. This place is surrounded by my men who would take you down before you could even blink." Wo Fat warned with a smug smile on his face. Mason returned it with one of his own.

"Being surrounded simplifies my problem. Means I can shoot in any direction and I'm bound to hit someone who's guilty."

"And how do you plan to do that? You have no weapon." Wo Fat pointed out.

"I'll be using your gun, of course."

Wo Fat barely had the time to register what Mason was saying before the SEAL struck. With one swift pull on his chains he managed to yank them free from the wall. In the same motion, he swung the chains and bolted plate around and made direct contact with his enemy's knees. Wo Fat's legs slipped out from under him with the hit and with amazing agility, Mason was up on his feet and swinging the chains again. This time he made contact with Wo Fat's head, leaving him severely dazed. He landed another hit down on his shoulder with a sickening crack. The tazer fell from the Asian man's hand and tumbled over towards Steve. Mason rushed over and grabbed it while Wo Fat was still down and disoriented.

"Mase…" He heard Steve breathe as he knelt down before him.

"Hold on buddy. We'll be out of here soon. You'll be back with Danny and the girls before you know it." Mason assured as he grabbed the weapon. As he turned back towards Wo Fat he could see the other man trying to get back up. He quickly zapped him with the tazer, sending him back down to the ground. He hit him with the electrodes one more time before he began searching for his gun.

"Not quite as much fun when you're on the receiving end of it is it?" Mason taunted, giving him another quick hit before he turned him on his side where he found a revolver tucked into his belt in the back of his pants. "Why do you idiots always stick your damn gun down your pants? Huh? You want to shoot your ass off?" He asked rhetorically as he checked the weapons' clip. He rolled Wo Fat back over so that he could look him in the eyes. "I'm not one who usually sanctions personal vendettas but I would be doing not only my friend but the whole world an unforgiveable injustice if I allowed you to live another day on this earth. You made your choices and now you're going to die as a consequence of them." Mason declared before he pulled the trigger and put a bullet right between Wo Fat's eyes.

"Mason!" Steve weakly cried out from behind him when he heard the gunshot.

Mason took a deep breath as he looked at the lifeless body lying in front of him. He would have liked to have emptied the magazine into the guy just to ensure that he was really dead but he didn't know how many bullets he was going to need to get them out of there so he didn't want to waste their limited ammunition.

"Mason!" Steve called out again.

"It's alright, Steve. I'm fine." Mason answered in an even tone as he set the gun down in front of him and reached his fingers to Wo Fat's neck. When he didn't find a pulse he began to search his body for the keys to unchain them. He found a set in his trouser pocket. "You know for as smart as this bastard was, he's pretty fucking stupid to be carrying all this shit on him while in the room with prisoners." He said, more to himself than Steve.

Mason quickly unlocked himself and then headed over to Steve and began the careful process of unchaining him. He undid his legs first, ignoring the unnatural way his left leg hung from his body. He then moved onto his arms. Steve cried out as Mason did his best to brace his fall.

"What ….happened?" Steve mumbled.

"It's over, Steve. It's all over but I need your help still alright? I'm gonna carry you out of here but I need you to stay with me till we get completely out of here. You promise me you won't give up on me?" Mason insisted.

"What about…Wo Fat?" Steve asked as Mason positioned him around his shoulders. It wouldn't be the most comfortable position for Steve but it was the easiest way for Mason to carry his large friend.

"He's dead. I told you, it's over. Now we have to go. Danny's going to be coming for us soon." He said as he picked up the weapon and headed for the door. In the distance he could hear gunshots and he could only hope that it meant that their backup had arrived.


	10. Only Thing That's On My Mind

**A/n: **Kit Merlot you literally made me burst out laughing. I would marry Mason too but he's already taken, sorry ladies. And if you recognize it, yes I did borrow it from _Beauty and The Beast. _You guys are getting this chapter tonight because I am in an incredibly good mood after watching my Blackhawks win at the United Center. Go Hawks!

_Feel it coming in the air and the screams from everywhere, I'm addicted to the thrill, it's a dangerous love affair. Can't be scared when it goes down, got a problem tell me now, only thing that's on my mind is who's gonna run this town tonight?—Jay-Z, Run This Town Tonight_

"I'm only going to say this once: if you want to back out of this, this is your last chance. What we are about to do is incredibly dangerous and could very well have serious consequences which could include jail time."Joe stated matter-of-factly as they huddled together just outside of Wo Fat's compound.

"You lead, we'll follow, sir." Beck replied. He looked over at the Major who nodded in agreement. Joe looked over at the 5-0 taskforce.

"Steve needs help. Ohana doesn't quit when someone needs help." Kono declared.

"He would do the same for us." Chin added. Danny didn't say anything but his intentions were clearly written on his face. His jaw was set and his eyes were sparkling with rage. He was coming out of here with Steve, consequences be damned.

"Alright then. Matthews, you go with Kono and take the front. Beck, you and Chin take the sides. Danny, you're with me in the back." Joe ordered. Everybody checked their weapons and gear one last time before Beck held out a hand to Joe.

"See you on the other side, sir." Joe shook his hand with a nod before gesturing for Danny to follow him.

They had just made it to the backside of the house when they heard a gunshot that sounded like it was coming from inside the house. Danny tensed and looked at Joe, trying not to let his fear show through.

"Don't start writing him off yet, Danny. For all we know that was Steve doing the firing." Joe stated in a whisper.

"If it were Steve it would have been an explosion, not a gunshot. He has a particular fondness for blowing things up." Danny muttered as they made their way towards the back door.

"That he does." Joe agreed with a quiet chuckle.

"You wouldn't happen to be responsible for that, would you?" Danny semi- accused.

"Nope. He came to me that way." Joe replied. Danny just rolled his eyes and shook his head in defeat.

As they reached the back door, Joe gestured for Danny to take one side while he stood in front of it. They both raised their weapons as Joe kicked in the door. The two men hurried in and were immediately greeted by two other armed men. Danny fired quickly, taking them both down without a second thought. They moved farther into the house, clearing it slowly as they went. More gunshots rang out from the front of the house and Danny thought he heard Kono calling out 'clear'. In the middle of the house, he and Joe came across a locked door. Joe shot the lock off and allowed Danny to go ahead of him down the stairway that led into a dark and dank basement...

...Mason took a deep breath as he headed out of the cell and into the hallway. He had no idea where Wo Fat's goons could be hiding so he held the weapon in one hand while he balanced Steve on the other.

"God McGarrett, even after a couple days without food you're still a heavy son of a bitch." Mason complained as he walked. Steve didn't say anything and Mason figured that he had probably passed out again from the pain.

He headed down the hallway uninterrupted for awhile until the passageway split into two different directions forcing him to make a decision. To the left it was dark and somewhat ominous looking. To the right, it was lighter but he could hear that someone was down there. If he chose the wrong way and they ended up running around like a rat in a maze, he could waste time that Steve might not have or they could end up running into one of the goons. But the little voice inside of his head was telling him to take a chance and go towards the light, so to speak.

"Let's see what's down the yellow brick road." Mason muttered as he made the decision to go to the right hoping that with any luck, they'd run into a few friendlies. He hurried down the hall and had just rounded the corner when he was confronted by Danny who had his weapon trained on him and a dangerous look in his eye.

"Put him down." Danny demanded.

"Look Danny, I'm not going to hurt him. I'm Captain Cayleb Mason. I'm a friend of Steve's." Mason replied.

He recognized the blonde from the pictures he had seen around Steve's house but there was something different about him in person. It might have been something to do with the dark look in his blue eyes that were currently trained on him, ready to strike should Mason prove to be a threat.

"Forgive me if I'm not real trusting of Steve's friends. Now put him down." Danny growled.

"Look, I'd love to stand here and explain to you how I'm not a threat but we don't have that kind of time. Steve needs help so either assist me or get out of my way." Mason insisted, the commanding officer in him coming out.

"Danny it's alright, let him through." Joe announced as he came up behind him. "How bad is he?" He asked, turning his attention to Mason and the man in his arms.

"He's pretty fucked up, Joe. We have got to get him out of here and to some medical help pretty quick or he's not going to make the trip back with us on the right side of the plane." Mason explained as he pushed past Danny who had holstered his weapon and stepped against the wall to them pass.

"Alright, I've got a helo on its way in. Any idea who the closest carrier might be?" Joe asked as they headed back up the hallway that would lead them out of the bunker. Mason shook his head as Joe looked back over his shoulder and saw that blonde was still rooted in place. "Danny, come on son." He urged. "You can freak out about all of this later but right now we've still got work to do."

The command seemed to be enough to get Danny moving again as he quickly jogged to catch up with them as they hurried out of the basement and into the night. Chin and Lieutenant Beck were waiting for them just outside of the door. They could hear the distant whirl of the helicopter confirming Joe's promise that help was on the way.

"Kono and the Major are out front making sure that we don't have any more unwanted visitors. The helo is about a minute out." Beck informed them as they approached.

"Good work Commander. We need to find out which carrier in the area is the closest." Joe ordered. Beck nodded.

"Why do we need to know about the carriers?" Danny asked as he stared at his partner draped unceremoniously over the Captain's shoulder.

"Steve needs some serious medical attention and a carrier is essentially a floating hospital. If we can get him there, they can get him stabilized till we can get him back to Hawaii." Mason explained patiently.

"How are we going to get on the carrier? We're not exactly doing Navy business." Danny pointed out.

"You leave that to me. You just worry about your partner." Joe insisted.

Any reply Danny might have had was cut off by the helicopter that was about to land in the yard just in front of them. One problem became immediately clear to him as he looked at their getaway aircraft—there was no way they were all going to fit. Mason seemed to sense the Detective's dilemma and he gave Danny a small smile before looking over at Joe.

"Sir, you take the Commander and his team and get them out of here. The boys and I will follow you later." He declared. Joe nodded and moved over to take Steve from Mason's arms. Danny turned towards the SEAL with a slightly panicked expression.

"But we can't leave you guys behind." He stated. Mason clapped a hand on his shoulder and gave him a patient smile.

"You're not leaving us behind." Mason insisted, using a tone Danny was sure he had used with Grace before. "We'll be fine, Danny. We'll be right behind you. Now go, Steve needs you." He gave the smaller man a nudge towards to the helicopter where Chin and Kono were waiting with Joe and Steve. Danny gave him a pat on the arm as if to say he understood before he ran off towards the aircraft.

Inside the helicopter, Kono was sitting up front next to the pilot with the four guys piled into the back. Steve was laid out on the floor, resting between Joe's knees while Chin sat off to his side. Danny climbed in and was about to take up the position on Steve's other side when Joe got up and gestured for Danny to take his place so that Steve could rest between his partner's legs. Danny shifted down so that he was sitting on the floor with Steve and pulled him so that his chest was against the smaller man's chest. It was the first chance he'd had to get a look at his partner's injuries and to say he looked bad was an understatement.

"Jesus Steven, what did he do to you?" Danny whispered as he held Steve's head against his own. Steve shifted slightly and Danny could feel the rumbling of his voice against his chest.

"You….you came." He said, sounding slightly surprised.

"Of course I came! You think I was going to just leave you here while god knows what happened to you?" Danny exclaimed.

"You shouldn't…. have come….wasted your time….not going to….. make it." Steve wheezed.

"Don't talk like that. You're going to be fine. I've got you. Everything's going to be fine." Danny insisted as he pulled Steve a little tighter against him.

"At least…I got to…. see you ….one last time." Steve stated, attempting to throw a smile at his husband.

"This is not the last time, Steven. You and me—we still have forever ahead of us. This is just a bump in the road, babe." Danny insisted as he placed a kiss in Steve's dark hair.

The adrenaline of the day was beginning to wear off and Danny slumped back against the seat, content simply hold the man he loved in his arms. Wo Fat was dead, Steve was alive and for the first time in nearly a week, Danny felt like he could breathe again.


	11. What Do I Do Now?

**A/n: ** I did a count today and there are over 50 of you out there who have added this story to their alerts. To me this is absolutely stunning. It is because of all of you that I keep going and try not to leave you all hanging. Thank you thank you thank you.

_I've been living to see you, dying to see you but it shouldn't be like this. This was unexpected. What do I do now? Could we start again please?—Jesus Christ Superstar _

The helicopter ride was a total blur to Danny. He had no idea how long they had flown before they finally touched down on the landing pad of whatever aircraft carrier they had managed to find. Joe had given him a little nudge to tell him that it was time to let go of Steve for now and suddenly Danny was torn. He knew that he needed to hand his partner over to medical personnel on board who would help him after the torture he had so obviously endured, but the Detective was afraid to let Steve out of his sight fearing that if he did this would all end up being a bad dream and he would still be back in Hawaii and Steve would still be in danger.

"Danny, it's alright." Kono assured as she appeared at his side and laid a hand on his shoulder. Danny turned towards her and gave her a haunted look.

"I can't do this." He replied softly and the youngest member of 5-0 knew there was more beneath the surface of that simple statement. She rubbed her hand gently on his shoulder.

"Yes you can. You have to if you want to help him." Kono stated. Eventually Danny nodded and allowed the medics to take Steve from his arms and disappear with him somewhere into the ship.

Kono, with a little assistance from Chin, was able to coax Danny out of the helicopter and lead him into the ship where Joe took them into the Officer's mess hall. The group got a few odds looks as they entered the dining room and headed over to a table in the corner. Kono knew they were probably quite a sight to see right now. A group of wet, dirty (and in Danny's case slightly bloody from holding Steve) civilians definitely looked out of place among this group of military officers.

Kono sat Danny down in the seat next to her. She was worried about him. He seemed to have shut down since they took Steve away from him, allowing them to maneuver him around like some kind of puppet and he had stopped talking, which was the most worrying of all. She reached over to lay a hand on his arm in an attempt to comfort her friend and noticed that his whole body was shaking. Kono looked across the table at Chin who looked equally concerned about Danny. Joe seemed to pick up the fact that something was wrong as he returned to the table with coffee for all of them.

"This isn't like him." Kono said quietly as she watched Danny who seemed to be staring off into nothing.

"He's probably in shock. It's not entirely surprising considering everything that's just happened. I'll see about getting us all some dry clothes and a place to get some sleep. Once the doc's done with Steve I can have him check on Danny." Joe stated as he pour himself a cup of coffee. A young man came up and stood at attention beside Joe.

"Excuse me sir, I'm Petty Officer Shaw. Captain Brunette asked me to come find you. He wants to speak to you." The young man informed.

"Thank you Petty Officer." Joe said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Now do you think it might be possible to get a little something for my team here to eat? It's been awhile since we last had a decent meal." He added.

"Of course sir." The Petty Officer nodded before disappearing again.

"I'm going to go talk to the Captain. You guys wait here and try to eat something. One of the corpsmen should come and get us when they have some news about Steve. Until then all we can do is wait." Joe said with a shrug before he disappeared in the same direction that the young officer had.

A few minutes later, Petty Officer Shaw returned with a couple plates filled with eggs and toast with some juice. He apologized that he could bring them more but the mess hall had already finished serving breakfast and this was all he could scrape together for the time being. He promised thought that he would make sure they could get a proper meal at lunch time.

"This is fine really, thank you." Chin assured the young man.

"If there's anything else you or your team needs, please don't hesitate to ask. I'm happy to assist you." Shaw said. Chin looked at him for a minute before it clicked.

"You know Steve don't you?" He asked. The Petty Officer nodded.

"Yes sir. Commander McGarrett is a bit of a legend around the Enterprise. Any of us on board would be happy to do whatever we can to help him or his team." Shaw replied.

"He has that effect on a lot of people." Chin smiled. The young man nodded before disappearing again. Chin then turned his attention across the table where Kono was desperately trying to get Danny to eat something.

"Come on Danny. I know powdered eggs aren't the most delicious thing ever but you need to eat something. And hey, it could be worse. There could be pineapple on it." She ribbed, desperately trying to get some kind of reaction out of the blonde.

"Steve hates my eggs." Danny muttered, so softly that Kono almost missed it.

"What?" She asked, not quite understanding what he was saying.

"Steve hates my eggs. He says they're terrible." Danny repeated as he stared down at his plate of food. Chin and Kono just looked at each other, unsure of how to respond.

"Aw you know how boss is. He only gets on your case when he knows you're better at something than he is." Kono said, continuing with her attempt at humor since it had at least gotten _some _kind of response from him.

"What am I going to do? What am I going to tell Mary? How do I explain this to the governor? How am I going to take care of the girls _and _Steve? They all need me but I can't take care of all them. What am I going to do?" Danny ranted. It would have sounded almost normal if he didn't sound so lost.

"Whatever you do, you're not going to do it alone. We're all here for you, Danny. Let us help you and Steve. We're ohana, remember?" Chin declared as he reached across the table and placed a hand on his friend's arm. Danny looked right back at him with his haunted blue eyes and repeated the same words over again as if he hadn't even heard Chin's promise.

"What am I going to do?"


	12. Determined and Resolved

**A/n: **you all wanted to know how badly our poor Steve is hurt and now you get to find out. And I promise that Mason is going to make an appearance real soon. There's also a small reference to the first story in this series _Aloha Oe_ but you'd still be able to follow even if you haven't read that one.

_Determination gives you the resolve to keep going in spite of the roadblocks that lay before you.—Denis Waitley_

Danny felt a little bit more like himself after getting some sleep. After his minor meltdown in the Officer's mess, the cousins had led him down to the quarters that Joe had arranged for them. It was a small room with just a couple of bunks but it was enough for the three of them during their short stay on the ship. They changed out of their dirty clothes and into some sweats that Petty Officer Shaw had dropped off for them. His mind had been racing when he first settled down on the cot. He was trying to process everything that had just happened and how exactly he felt about it all.

There was an overwhelming sense of relief in knowing that Steve was safe and with him again. The past week had been one of the worst he'd ever experienced. Though he wasn't an overly religious man, Danny couldn't help but thank God that his partner was alive and that he hadn't been too late. But now that the danger and threat was removed from the picture, the feelings that he had had before Steve decided to take off to North Korea had returned and he didn't know how to deal with them now after everything that had happened. How could he still be pissed at Steve after what he had gone through? How could he still feel hurt and betrayed now that he knew the reason why Steve had done it? In their current situation the feelings felt wrong but Danny couldn't seem to let them go. They hung around his mind like a heavy fog that clouded his thoughts and weighted down his heart.

Danny didn't know how long he had slept after exhaustion had finally taken over his body but he woke up to find Kono sitting on the bed next to him, gently shaking his shoulder. He blinked quickly as he tried to get his surroundings and for a brief second, he had hoped that this was all a bad dream and that he would wake up in his bed back in Hawaii with Steve lying right beside him, but as he took in the cold metallic grey walls and starch white sheets, he realized his nightmare was his reality.

"Hey brah," Kono said softly as she stared down at him. Her eyes were filled with sympathy and Danny had to look away. He wasn't ready to accept their pity yet because accepting it meant accepting that something had happened and that things had changed and Danny wasn't ready to deal with that yet.

"Hey," He responded, still slightly groggy. "Have we heard anything yet about Steve?" Kono nodded.

"Yeah, Petty Officer Shaw just came by. He said that the doctor wants to talk to us." She replied. Danny sighed and shifted in the bed. "You want us to give you a minute?" She asked.

"No, I'm good." He assured her as he moved to get off the bed. Kono gave him a pat on the shoulder as he sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

With the cousins at his side, Danny followed the young Petty Officer through the halls of the ship as he led them towards the Sick Bay. Somewhere in the back of Danny's mind he wondered if the young man had been assigned the unenviable task of being their babysitter while they were on board. As they walked, he took in the sights of the air craft carrier and it made him feel like a bit of a voyeur. The Navy was a part of Steve that Danny had never been privileged to before and being here on the ship felt like a bit of an invasion, like he didn't have his partner's permission to be there.

"Excuse me sir," Petty Officer Shaw spoke up as they stopped in a doorway. Danny looked over his shoulder into the room where another officer stood only this one wore a white coat over his uniform. "This is Detective Williams, Officer Kalakaua and Lieutenant Kelly. They're Commander McGarrett's team." He explained.

"Thank you Petty Officer." The man said, dismissing the young man. He then turned his attention to the three people standing in front of him. "Please, come in. I'm Captain Seabrook, I've been taking care of Commander McGarrett." The officer introduced as he ushered them into a small room which looked to be his office.

"How is Steve?" Kono asked since she was the first to find her voice.

"He's stabilized now. The Commander was in critical condition when he was brought onto the ship." Captain Seabrook stated.

"But he didn't look that bad. Banged up but not critical." Chin commented.

"Most of the injuries that he sustained were internal. The only external wounds we could find were a few electrical burns on his chest and neck, most likely from some kind of tazer. Those should heal with minimal scarring." The doctor explained and Danny could tell he was stalling.

"What about his other injuries?" He insisted as he prepared himself for bad news that he could sense was coming. The Captain shifted slightly and then gestured for them to take a seat at the small table in his room.

"Commander McGarrett has a concussion which is part of the reason that he hasn't regained consciousness yet. There doesn't seem to be any intracranial bleeding but he'll be evaluated further once he's state side. The more pressing injuries though are the separated shoulder and broken hip that he sustained. Significant damage had been done to the joints and there is some internal bleeding. We've set both the injuries but they'll need surgery to fully repair them." The doctor explained.

"How bad is the damage?" Danny asked softly.

"I'm not an orthopedic specialist so I can't give a detailed prognosis but there appears to be severe damage done to the muscle tissue in the shoulder and hip. They can be repaired…but there is a good possibility that there will be permanent damage." Captain Seabrook declared.

"Are you saying that Steve won't walk again?" Danny asked, his voice surprising strong despite the news.

"No, the damage to the hip is bad but it shouldn't affect his ability to walk. The shoulder is the far worse injury of the two." The doctor replied.

"Which shoulder is it?" Danny asked, though he had a sinking suspicion of what the other man was going to say.

"His left shoulder." The Captain replied with a knowing look at the Detective. Danny just nodded sadly.

It had been Steve's left arm that had been hurt when his Humvee hit an IED during his last deployment with the SEALs. He had been in therapy for nearly three months after they had put a titanium rod to support his shattered humorous bone. The doctor seemed to sense that Danny knew what it all meant.

"Will he lose function of the arm?" He inquired.

"I don't think he'll lose function but he could have very limited range of motion in the arm." Captain Seabrook answered honestly. "Again, I'm no orthopedic specialist. Once he gets state side, he'll have surgery to repair the damage and the surgeon will be able to give you a better prognosis." He added. The three of them nodded.

"Can we see him?" Kono asked quietly.

"Of course. He's still unconscious but it might do him some good to hear some familiar voices. Commander White also informed me that a medical transport should be ready in a few hours to take you all state side." Captain Seabrook informed as he stood and gestured for them to follow him through another door.

"Thank you." Danny said, holding out a hand for the doctor to shake.

"Just doing my duty, Detective." The Captain replied as he pointed them towards a bed on the other side of the room.

Danny, Kono and Chin walked slowly to Steve's bedside. The cousins place a hand on each of Danny's shoulders as they looked down at the bed where their friend and partner lie there looking defeated and broken. Danny reached out a shaky hand and stroked it across Steve's cheek gently. As he looked down at his partner's bruised features he sighed and squared his shoulders to set his resolve again. It was his turn to be the strong one for awhile.


	13. Even At Unlikely Times

_She put one hand on mine. "When someone is in your heart, they're never truly gone. They can come back to you, even at unlikely times." ― Mitch Albom, For One More Day_

_When a lost loved one appears before you, it's your brain that fights it, not your heart.—Mitch Albom, For One More Day_

"Steve is fine, Mary. He's alive and he's going to be okay." Danny informed his sister-in-law, telling her the same thing he'd been telling himself since he first saw Steve again.

The doctor had given a grim prognosis but Danny refused to believe any of it yet. Not until Steve saw the specialists and had his surgeries. Then he would worry about outcomes and the future but until that point, in his mind, things were going to be okay.

"Oh Danny that's great." Mary exclaimed. "I knew you guys would save him. My stupid brother is so luck to have you."

"Well I didn't exactly—"

"Like seriously, Steve is going to be forever in debt to you guys for saving his sorry butt." She said, cutting Danny off as he tried to explain how he really hadn't done that much to actually save by the time they got there, Mason had already take Wo Fat out and saved Steve from his prison. All he had done was help provide transport out of the country. Steve didn't need him and it was just another feeling on the list of things Danny didn't know how to deal with yet.

"How's Makayla doing?" He asked, trying to change the subject.

"Uh I'm pretty sure she hates me because she's cried like the entire time you've been gone." Mary replied, sounding defeated.

"Mare, you know that's not true. I'm sure it's just because she senses that you're stressed so it stresses her out. Have you tried to sing to her?" Danny inquired. Music seemed to be the thing that soothed Makayla best when she was acting like a savaged beast. He wondered if it had any connection with her biological father being a musician.

"Yes! I've gone through every song on my iPod it seems and it's done nothing. It's like she doesn't even hear it." Mary huffed. Danny sighed and ran a hand over his face.

"Well just hang on a little bit longer alright? We'll be leaving the ship in a little awhile and should be back on the island by morning. Hopefully me being back will help." He explained.

"God I hope so. I don't know how much more I can take."

"I know—and Mary?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you, for doing this. I am forever in _your _debt." Danny said sincerely.

"Hey, it's ohana right? " She replied and he could hear the smile in her voice.

"Right. I'll see you soon Mare." He said as he ended the call. He hung up the phone and hung his head in his hands as he closed his eyes.

He, Chin and Kono had sat by Steve's bedside just watching Steve's chest rise and fall as he slept on, oblivious to their presence. Eventually Captain Seabrook suggested that they head back to their quarters for awhile before their transport arrived. Chin and Kono had gone to lie down again while Danny went to call Mary to let her know her brother was okay. Now he sat in Captain Brunette's room since he had allowed him to use his private line, with a million things on his mind and no idea where to start with them. Before he could sink too far into his thoughts, someone knocked on the door.

"Yes?" Danny answered. He lifted his head slightly to turn and look towards the door where someone familiar stood. "Oh Captain…I'm sorry I've forgotten your name." He confessed as he started to stand. The other man held out a hand to stop him as he entered the room.

"I'm Captain Cayleb Mason, though you can call me Mason. Everybody does. I'm afraid we haven't been properly introduced." Mason declared as he took a seat next to the desk Danny was seated at.

"Right. I'm Detective Danny Williams. Call me Danny. I'm Steve's—"

"Partner, I know. Steve's told me all about you." Mason interrupted and Danny could tell by the look in his eyes that he knew just exactly how far their partnership extended.

"Well I'm afraid that Steve's told me nothing about you." Danny responded as he shifted slightly in his chair.

"Typical McGarrett." Mason mock chastised. "I'm one of Steve's oldest friend—in time, not age. We attended the Academy together as well as SEAL school. We were on a team together for years." He informed with an easy smile. Danny could see why Steve liked this man. Mason had a way about him that was captivating.

"I can't believe Steve's never mentioned you before." Danny muttered.

"Oh you know him. He doesn't like to talk about his past and I guess I'm a part of that. There's a lot in our history that he can't talk about because it's—"

"Classified." Danny finished.

"I take it you've heard that a few times from him." Mason joked. Danny huffed. "Honestly I was surprised when Steve called and said he needed my help. We hadn't spoken much since I left the SEALs." He shrugged.

"Injury?" Danny wondered as a reason why Mason had left. Mason shook his head.

"Nope. I just couldn't live that life anymore. It was too hard to hide who I really was and so when Don't Ask Don't Tell was repealed, I saw that as my chance. I left the SEALs and became a drill instructor." He explained. Danny's head shot up and he stared at Mason intenty.

"You're…."

"Yes, Danny. I'm gay, have been my whole life." Mason declared proudly.

"And you joined the Navy knowing…." He nodded.

"Despite what the media may project, most guys don't have a problem with serving with men and women who are gay. I knew when I joined the Navy that I couldn't tell anybody, especially if I wanted to be a SEAL but I always hoped that someday I wouldn't have to hide who I was anymore, and I was right." He shrugged.

"But if you didn't have to hide being gay anymore then why leave the SEALs?" Danny asked.

"I saw and did a lot of shit during my time. It takes its toll and I figured I needed to get out before it took more than I could give. I'd be lying though if I said I didn't want what you and Steve have." Mason stated.

"What? Marriage? Kids?" Danny questioned.

"Yeah. Maybe when this is all over I'll finally buy Andrew that ring he's been bitching about." Mason smiled. Danny frowned.

"It's not always all it's cracked up to be." He warned. Mason reached out and placed a hand on Danny's arm.

"I know Steve hurt you with the way he treated you and he's an asshole for it, but he really does love you and the girls even though he sucks at showing it." Mason pointed out.

"How can I hate him and love him at the same time?" Danny said, shaking his head.

"You have every right to hate him _because _you love him." Mason answered. Danny looked the other man directly in the eye.

"Do _you _love him?"

"Yes." Mason smiled sadly. "But I'm not _in love _with him. It's more of a brotherly love." He said. Mason knew that Danny wanted to know if there had ever been anything between him and Steve but there was no story to tell. Any feelings Mason may have had for his friend when they were younger were inconsequential now. "Trust me Danny, the only man Steve McGarrett has ever loved is you."

* * *

><p>"Come on Steven, open up those gorgeous blue eyes for me." Steve could hear someone calling out to him, coaxing him back to consciousness. "I think you've been sleeping long enough. Now it's time to wake up." A gentle hand brushed over his brow and there was something comfortingly familiar about the touch.<p>

Steve came around slowly, blinking his eyes rapidly to adjust the bright light filtering into the room. As he took in his surrounding, he very quickly realized that something was wrong. The last thing he had remembered was being carried out of the cell on Mason's shoulders and being placed into Danny's arms after enduring hell for days. So it made absolutely no sense for him to wake up in his own bed feeling no pain with a ghost gently stroking his hair.

"Mom?" Steve choked out as he tried to sit up.

"Hi sweetheart." She smiled at him.

Steve's eyes went wide. Sitting there right next to him on the bed was none other than Melinda McGarrett, looking exactly as he had remembered her from all those years ago. Her long blonde hair was tied up in a loose bun and her slight figure was hidden in an oversized button up shirt and a pair of loose linen pants. Looking at her now, Steve couldn't help but notice how much she looked like Mary or really that Mary looked like her. He it was absolutely impossible for her to be sitting right there next to him, gently caressing his head. She was dead-had been for nearly twenty years now. He shouldn't have been able to feel her touch but there it was and nothing had ever felt quite so right.

"What the…how?" He asked, unable to express his feelings accurately in words.

"How what, dear?" She asked, seeming to not understanding her son's confusion.

"This is impossible." Steve declared. "You're dead….wait a minute, does this mean I'm dead too?" He asked, suddenly panicked. His mother ran a hand soothingly down his arm.

"No Steven, you haven't died. You just needed me." She said simply.

"Needed you?" Steve exclaimed. "I've _needed_ you every day for the past twenty years. Why now?"

"Because you're confused." She replied, her tone remaining ultimately calm which was the exact opposite of how Steve was feeling.

"Damn right I'm confused! I don't understand what I'm doing here! I definitely don't understand what _you're _doing here! And I have no idea what is going on!" He shouted as he threw the covers off of himself as he sat up fully. "Where's Danny and Mason and the rest of my team?" He insisted. She frowned at his outburst and her calm tone turn stern as she addressed her son.

"They're on the Enterprise, waiting for you to come around. But first, you and I need to have a talk, son."


	14. So Much Like My Dad

**A/n: **I am so glad that you guys responded so positively to that last chapter. I was a little hesitant to go down that path but I think it will help Steve figure out some of his problems. He's not dead, I promise that. He's just having an…out of body experience. And as _Magpie1600_ put it, Mama McGarrett is about to give Steve a 'head slap of reality'.

_Can we have a talk like it was yesterday? Your boy's back in trouble and he needs you right away. She says she's gonna leave me mama. Nothing on God's green earth could make her stay. I can't live without her mama. But this time you can't kiss the hurt away. But if I'm so much like my dad, there must have been times you felt her way, so tell me word for word what he said that always made you stay.—George Strait, So Much Like My Dad_

* * *

><p>"What in the world would possess you to go all the way to North Korea hunt down this man?" Melinda started as she rose from the bed, putting her hands on her hips as she looked down at her son.<p>

Though Steve was still the thirty-five year old man that he had been before this …dream…had started, he felt as though he was fifteen again and his mother was about to reprimand him for staying out too late with his friends again.

"I had to stop him. He hurt my daughter. This man was ultimately responsible for your and Dad's deaths! I couldn't let anything else happen. I had to end things once and for all." Steve declared vehemently as he rose up on the bed.

"Was that really your only option though? Hunting him down like that?" She questioned.

"Of course it was. I didn't have any other choice—"

"Didn't you?" His mother cut him off. She sounded so much like Danny in that moment that Steve almost forgot how to breathe. "Steven, why didn't you tell Danny about what you were doing?"

"Because I didn't want him to get hurt. I was trying to protect him." He replied with his standard line, clearly irritated with answering this question.

"Are you sure? Or was it just because you didn't want him to stop you?" She inquired with a hint of accusation in her tone. Steve threw his hands in the air.

"Why does everybody keep saying that? Why can't you all believe that I was truly trying to look out for the welfare of my family?" He exclaimed.

"Because, Steven, a gesture like that is exactly the kind of thing your father would have done and you swore you would never treat your family the way he treated us. You swore you would never lie and keep things from your family even in the name of protection because you know how much it hurt you and Mary. " Melinda stated forcefully. Steve was momentarily stunned by the impact of her words.

"How do you know that?" Steve inquired. Those were all thoughts that had come to him after her death. He had never vocalized any of those things to her. She smiled sadly.

"Just because you couldn't see me doesn't mean I wasn't there." She said sadly. "I've seen it all, Steve. I saw how hurt my little boy was when your father sent you away and you thought he didn't love you. I saw what an amazing man you had become when you graduated from the academy. I saw your struggles and your down periods during your days in the Navy. And I finally saw you happy again for the first time since my death when you met Daniel Williams. I wish you could see yourself when you're with him Steve. You exude a kind of happiness that a mother always dreams her children will find….which is why I don't understand how you could hurt him the way you did." She sighed as she came as sat back down next to him.

"It was my vendetta." Steve said softly. He looked down at his hands and began to absently pick at the sheet. "Wo Fat was my cross to bear and Danny told me the first day he met me that he wasn't going to die for my vendetta. I was just making sure that didn't happen." He explained.

"I think you're interpreting that the wrong way." Melinda frowned. "I don't think that words he said on the first day he met you-when he didn't even know you-can be applied now, years later when he loves you like he does. "

"I never meant to hurt him, Mom." Steve declared with a sense of vulnerability. He looked up at her with tears in his eyes. She reached out and placed her hand on his face, gently stroking his cheek with her thumb to comfort him.

"I know. And I think deep down Danny knows too. You just have to work a little to get him to realize it." Melinda pointed out. She looked at her son for a long minute before she started to smile. "You are so much like your father, you may not want to be, but you are."

"Is that a bad thing?" Steve questioned. His feelings for his father had been so mixed up for so many years. It wasn't until recently that he was beginning to untangle any of them.

"No, I don't think so. But then again, I have a biased upon when it comes to John McGarrett. I did after all fall hopeless in love with him." Melinda smirked and Steve couldn't help but smile too.

"I always admired you and Dad as a couple. You made it look effortless." Steve commented.

"It wasn't." Melinda replied quickly. "Your father and I had a good marriage because we worked at it. We had our share of struggles and there were points where I was ready to walk away. But I never did because I knew your father never would. We always found a way to work through it, even if it meant a few nights spent on the couch with a cold shoulder in the process. But you, Steve, will probably have it a little bit harder than I did." She declared.

"How so?"

"Danny doesn't have the unwavering faith that you won't walk away. He was been burnt badly by Rachel and so he still carries those doubts into your marriage. It may be unfair to you but you have to prove to him that you aren't like her and you aren't going to go away because things are bad." She explained. Steve frowned.

"How?" She just smiled.

"That is something that you're going to have to figure out yourself."


	15. Spend Your Whole Life Collecting Days

**A/n: **This scene is for Crokettsgirl who rightly realized that they were all on board the same ship that Catherine is stationed on. So of course, I couldn't resist adding just a little bit more drama and intrigue. I should also note that the scenes between Steve and his mom are inspired by the book _For One More Day _by Mitch Albom.

"_Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back." ― Mitch Albom, For One More Day_

Steve laid in the bed for awhile, thinking about everything that his mother had told him. All the things that she had said had been the truth and some of it had hurt him to hear. Like the fact that Danny actually could think that he would leave him. He wasn't Rachel. He wouldn't treat his partner the way that she did.

'_But didn't you?' _ A voice in his head piped up and Steve realized that the way he had acted before this trip didn't exactly help his cause of proving to Danny that this time was different—that this time really was forever.

"God I've really screwed things up." He said to himself as he roughly rubbed his hands over his face.

"Yes, but it's nothing you can't fix with a little love and a lot of groveling." Steve dropped his hands from his face and looked up to see his mother seated beside him once again.

"Thanks mom." He replied dryly. She hummed her acceptance. Giving her another look, he realized that she was holding something in her hands. He shifted up to rest on his elbows to get a better look.

"They're beautiful." Melinda commented as she lifted her hands to show him the picture fame she was holding. Inside was a picture of Grace and Makayla that he absolutely adored.

"My girls." He said in a whisper. He had been so caught up in his worry over how Danny was going to take things he had completely forgotten about the two little girls waiting for him back home. It made his chest hurt slightly.

"My granddaughters." Melinda smiled proudly as she ran a finger over their faces. "I would have spoiled them rotten—would have spoiled _you_ rotten too. It would have been nice for you to need me again." She winked.

Steve didn't share in her happiness though. Instead, he felt an overwhelming sense of loss. For all the times his mother had been there and he pushed her away in search of his father's attention (or lack thereof) and for all of the days he had wished she was still there and wasn't.

"Mom, I'm so sorry." He said, his voice cracking with tears.

"For what, sweetheart?" Melinda asked, placing a hand on his cheek in concern.

"For everything. For the way I treated you—"

"Oh no, you stop right there Steven Jonathan. I know what you're trying to do and I swear it's not necessary." She insisted.

"But I treated you so badly." He argued.

"You were a fifteen year old boy. I didn't expect anything different and you couldn't have known what was going to happen." She declared. A few tears escaped down Steve's cheek and she brushed them away gently. "I've always known you love me, Steve. And you always knew I loved you. It was your father's love you always questioned. He didn't always show his affection and because of that you always doubted his feelings. But he loved you—just the way you love your girls." She explained. "It's time for you to go back to them now. They need you."

"But—" Steve sat up slightly panicked. "I don't want to lose you." He exclaimed. He didn't want this dream to end, not when he knew it meant when he woke up his mother would be gone.

"You never did and you never will lose me. I'm always right there." Melinda said, pressing into his chest near his heart with her finger.

"I love you, Mom." Steve cried. She smiled sadly and brushed a strand of hair off his forehead.

"I love you too, Steven."

* * *

><p>Mason and Danny had talked for a little while longer before heading back down to Sick Bay so that Mason could see for himself that Steve was alright. When they entered his room though, they found a woman seated at his bedside, her head bowed as she held Steve's hand. Danny frowned and narrowed his eyes as he looked at her.<p>

"Catherine?" He called out softly. She turned around and he saw that it was in fact Steve's ex.

"Danny," She said, startled at being caught by him. "I'm sorry. I heard he was on board and I just…" She tried to explain. Danny waved a hand to stop her.

"I get it." He stated. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Mason shuffling next to him, reminding him of the other man's presence in this awkward situation. "Mason, this is Catherine Rollins. She's Steve's…" Danny stumbled, not sure how to introduce her.

"I'm Steve's ex girlfriend." She informed with a tight smile. "I should go." She declared as she stood and started to leave.

"Catherine, wait." Danny called out after her. He left Mason at Steve's side and followed her out into the hallway. "Catherine." He called again. She stopped and turned towards him.

"Look, Danny I'm sorry—'

"Stop apologizing. I get it. You wanted to see him. I understand." Danny said, interrupting her.

"No, it's more than that. I wanted to say I'm sorry for the way I acted… before. I didn't mean to react so violently. It was just that…I always told myself that Steve just wasn't the type to settle down which was why he could never commit to me. So when I found out he was with you…" Catherine's voice trailed off as she swallowed thickly in an attempt to get her emotions in check.

"You felt betrayed." Danny finished in a knowing tone. She nodded.

When he and Steve first began dating, Danny didn't realize that things weren't officially over with Steve and Catherine. It had been over a year and a half since he had last seen her and it was just assumed on his part that they had mutually agreed to go their separate ways and see other people. So it had been an incredibly awkward Saturday morning when Catherine had arrived at the house while she was on leave to find Steve and Danny in the midst of a frisky morning swim. She was understandably shocked by what she'd seen and Danny could only assume that his partner (who had a tendency to be less than elegant with his words) had only made things worse when he tried to explain because Catherine hauled off and punched him in the face before telling him to 'go to hell'. Steve had felt absolutely awful about the way he had treated his ex which was what had kept Danny from punching him as well for his insensitivity.

"I just didn't understand it at the time, how he could love you and not me. I thought there was something wrong with me and that's why he didn't want to be with me. I wanted to know what you could give him that I couldn't." She explained. Danny understood her feelings. He had felt the same way when Rachel left him for Stan.

"There's nothing wrong with you, Catherine. You're a great person." He declared. She smiled sadly.

"I know. I get it now. You give Steve the one thing that nobody else can—understanding. You get him and all of his crazy thoughts and flaws. You balance him out and keep him from going to extremes." Catherine described. Danny frowned and looked back over his shoulder at Steve lying in the bed.

"Some balancing act." He muttered. Catherine placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You followed him all the way out here. If you hadn't done that he probably wouldn't be alive." She stated. Danny shrugged. She pulled her hand back. "I've got to get back to my station. Tell Steve I wish him all the best." She added with a smile. Danny returned it with one of his own.

"I will.".


	16. It's Been A Long Week

**A/n: **Sorry guys, didn't mean to make you wait so long. I had family in from out of town and it's getting down to the crunch time for school. This is just a little something to tide y'all over until I can get the really good stuff finished. **On a spoiler note: **I think it's kind of lame the way they have written Steve off for a few episodes. They could have come up with something better than him running off to go find Joe. But that's just my opinion. I miss my McDanno :_(

_It's been a long week and all the lights come down heavy on me. It's been a long week. I'm finally feeling like its okay to break into a thousand pieces, no one can replace, only I can find my way. It's been a long week and I just wanna hide away—Rosi Golan, It's Been A Long Day_

"Danny please, I am begging you—go home." Mason pleaded as he gave his new friend a good once over. "Seriously, go take a shower, get something to eat, go see Mary and Makayla, hell maybe even get some sleep. But sitting here isn't going to do you any good. The doctors said it would be hours before we can see him." He explained.

"I can't leave him." Danny replied automatically but Mason could hear the exhaustion in the other man's voice.

"I know but right now you need to take care of yourself and Steve isn't with it enough to even know you were gone. He would want you to go home and see your family." He insisted.

"And if the tables were turned, you know damn well that he would park himself in this waiting room and not leave until he had some kind of news from the doctor." Danny retorted.

"Yeah well Steve doesn't always do the right thing." Mason frowned. "Please Danny, go home and get some rest while you can. Once Steve is out of surgery he is going to need you and you're going to have to be at your best for him." Danny sighed and gave his companion a long look.

"You'll stay here just in case?"

"Promise." Mason declared as he placed his hand over his head. Danny gave him another hesitant look. "If I hear anything from the doctors I'll call you immediately."

"Alright, fine. But I'll be back in a few hours." The detective stated. Mason nodded.

"Understood. Take all the time you need."

Danny left the hospital with reluctant heart. He was exhausted by the time they finally got back to Hawaii. It had been a nearly eight hour flight from the Enterprise back to Oahu in the back of a C130 that had essentially been turned into a flying ambulance. The whole team including Joe, Mason and the other guys had been shoved into the back of the plane along with Steve and three medical personnel with all of their equipment. Steve, who was still unconscious, had been strapped to the stretcher where he was attached to numerous IVs and monitors. Captain Seabrook had assured Danny that Steve was stable enough to make the flight but Danny still spent the whole flight staring at them to confirm for himself that his partner was still alive.

Once they had landed in Oahu, Steve had been rushed straight to Queens where he had been taken into surgery immediately to repair his damaged joints. The doctors informed him that it would be hours before he would be able to see his partner again and Danny had been prepared to settle into the waiting room for the duration but Mason did have a point. Danny needed to take advantage of this break now because once Steve was out of surgery they were going to be facing an uphill battle.

He took a cab home, his mind too distracted to drive anyway even if he had a car to drive. The sun had just finished setting and the air carried the restless feeling of an impending storm. It suited his mood perfectly. It would have been easy to think that now that they were back home and Wo Fat was dead that everything would be fine again but Danny didn't have that kind of optimism. This was merely the metaphorical calm before the storm. Once Steve was awake and aware they would began the process of healing the physical and emotional wounds that they had each suffered. It was going to take a lot of time and pain before things would be okay again.

'_**If**__ they'll be okay again' _a wicked voice piped up in Danny's head. There were a lot of 'what ifs' in their future. What if Steve was injured worse than was originally thought? What if he couldn't recover enough and the Navy medically discharged him? What if he couldn't resume his duties as the leader of 5-0? What if Governor decided to make good on her threat and fire them all? What if Danny couldn't ever truly forgive his partner? It was these kinds of dark thoughts that consumed him during the ride home so that he didn't even realize at first that they had pulled into the driveway.

Danny quickly paid the driver and headed up the walk way to the house. The living room light was on and as he got closer to the door he could hear the sounds of the television and his baby girl crying. It was kind of comforting in that it was so normal and after the last couple of weeks, he was craving a little bit of normal. He opened the front door and Mary stopped her pacing and turned towards the sound.

"Oh thank god." She declared, her shoulders slumping in relief at the sight of her brother-in-law.

"Rough week?" Danny tried to joke.

"Probably not as bad as yours but it had its moments." She replied as she walked over to him with Makayla in her arms. Danny reached out and took his crying daughter into his arms. He tucked her in tight against his chest and kissed the top of her head.

"What's wrong baby girl? Are you crying cause you missed me?" He asked. Makayla's head shot up and she looked at him slightly startled by his presence. "Hi sweetheart." He stroked her cheek lightly and her tears seemed to slow some.

"So, how bad is Steve messed up?" Mary asked, looking a little bit nervous as she shifted on her feet in front of him.

"He's in surgery right now. They have to fix his shoulder and his hip but the doctors say that he's going to be fine." Danny assured her. She sighed in relief.

"Good, then I can kick his ass myself." Mary said sarcastically. Danny smirked at her.

"Get in line."


	17. When You're Not In Danger Anymore

"_Things change when you're not in danger anymore." ― Mitch Albom, __For One More Day_

Steve couldn't help the groan that escaped his lips as the anesthesia began to wear off. He tried to shift slightly in the bed only to find that his movement was being prohibited by something. He cracked open an eye to see what was holding him in place and was only able to catch a brief glimpse of metal before a familiar face entered his field of vision.

"Oh god, I've died and gone to hell." He mock moaned at the sight of his friend.

"I'm offended." Mason frowned. "Is that really any way to greet the man who saved your ass?" He inquired. Steve tried a smile but it faded quickly as pain shot through him. "How are you feeling?"

"Like shit." Steve replied, glaring at Mason for asking a dumb question. "Where's Danny?" He inquired. The last few days were pretty much a giant blur for him but Steve knew that his partner had been there with him.

"He had something that he had to take care of but he promised that he would be by in a little bit." Mason assured with a smile.

"And Wo Fat?" Steve asked, trying to keep his voice from shaking. Mason laid a hand on Steve's good arm.

"He's dead, Steve. You killed him." He stated. Steve's wide eyes shot up to look at Mason. He didn't remember a lot about his time in captivity but something about that statement didn't feel right to him.

"I killed him? How?" He questioned.

"You shot him in the head. I incapacitated him and got us both free and then you shot him when he tried to get back up." Mason explained in a very direct manner. Steve continued to stare at the other man, not sure if he could believe his friend or not.

"How did we get out?" He asked.

"Danny and your team along with Joe and our boys came to our rescue. They got a helo and got us out. We made a brief stop on the Enterprise before coming back home." Mason added. Steve sighed and went to try to shift again only to be stopped again. He looked down at his leg again and saw the contraption attached to his right foot. "You're in traction. You messed up your hip pretty good." Mason explained, following his friend's stare.

"Damn it." Steve cursed under his breath.

"You also messed your arm up again. You had surgery to repair both joints. You're going to be out of commission for awhile buddy." Mason added. Steve groaned and rolled his eyes.

"Great." He muttered.

"Hey, you should be grateful that you're still alive." Mason pointed out.

"Yeah I know." Steve sighed as he turned his head to the side. Mason frowned at his friend's reaction. "So when are you heading back to Coronado?"

"I'm actually going to stick around a little bit longer. I figure you guys might need an extra pair of hands while you're laid up." He stated. Steve turned back to look at him.

"Don't you need to get back? I mean, I have a hard time believing that the Navy is willing to give you all of this time off." He pointed out.

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" Mason laughed.

"No, I just don't want you getting court marshaled for AWOL." Said Steve.

"I'm not going to get court marshaled. I have all the time in the world now." Mason replied with a smile. Steve gave him a questioning look. "I'm on terminal leave. I've decided it's time to hang up my boots."

"You're retiring?" Steve exclaimed. Mason nodded. "But why? You haven't reached your twenty yet.  
>Why leave now?"<p>

"There are more important things than a pension." Mason declared. "You made me realize that. I want what you and Danny have. I want a family and the chance at a normal life. And we both know that's awfully hard to do while still on active duty." He explained.

"What are you going to do after the Navy?" Steve asked.

"I haven't thought that far in advance yet. I still have six weeks until I'm officially discharged. I've had offers from a couple private security firms." Mason shrugged and Steve suddenly had a vision of Nick Taylor.

"What about going into law enforcement?" He suggested.

"What? Become a cop like you?" Mason smirked. "Why McGarrett, are you offering me a job?"

* * *

><p>Danny had fallen asleep on the couch the night before after spending a couple of hours with Mary and Makayla. He gave his sister-in-law a very brief, very vague recap of what had happened over there and she in return had told him about her week with the baby. Makayla had been nearly inconsolable at times and Danny felt bad that his child had been so difficult. He hoped that things would be better now that he was back. When Mary had excused herself for bed, Danny had followed her upstairs and took Makayla into her nursery where he went through their usual nighttime routine. She went to sleep fairly quickly and Danny had stayed and watched her sleep for awhile before heading back downstairs. He was exhausted but he couldn't bring himself to go sleep in the bed. It was just too big and empty without Steve to share it with.<p>

So he had passed out on the couch until about 7am when his phone rang. He shot up from his prone position and quickly grabbed his phone, figuring it was Mason calling to tell him that Steve was awake. What he wasn't expecting was for it to be a call from the Governor, or rather the Governor's secretary. Jameson wanted to see him in her office in an hour—no exceptions. He groaned and ran a hand over his face as he hung up the phone.

The shit was about to hit the fan.

**A/n: **And the plot thickens—why is Mason lying to Steve? And why is Danny in trouble with the Governor?


	18. Wish I'd Never Lied

**A/n: **Remember that phone call Danny got right after Joe and Chin met? Guess who it was….looks like Steve's not the only one who's been deceitful.

_Where have you been? I've looked for you forever and a day. Where have you been? I'm just not myself when you're away.—Kathy Matea, Where Have You Been?_

After a quick shower and shave, Danny arrived at the Governor's office at promptly 8am, ready to face the consequences of his actions. In the back of his mind he had kind of known this was coming. Governor Jameson had warned him that if he went against her orders and left the island to go after Steve that there would be serious repercussions for him and 5-0. At the time, he had been willing to risk calling her bluff. Now, she was calling his.

"Daniel, I have to say that I'm surprised by you. I expect this kind of behavior from Steve but you, I count on you to be the more responsible one in the partnership." Governor Jameson chastised as Danny stood in front of her desk.

"Governor, I am sorry that you feel I have somehow let you down with my actions but you didn't leave me any choice. I had to go after Steve. He was in trouble and he needed my help." Danny explained, shifting on his feet as he tried to sound somewhat apologetic. The truth was that he wasn't sorry about anything that he did and would do it all again in a heartbeat.

"You were given a direct order not to leave the island. The involvement of 5-0—including that of Commander McGarrett—in this operation was not authorized by the State of Hawaii or the United States Navy. You had no business being in North Korea." She declared, her tone turning very official.

"_The Commander_," Danny started, somewhat mocking the politician's words. "was given a lead as to where he could find Wo Fat, who is a wanted criminal in the State of Hawaii. He followed that lead to North Korea, not willing to sit back and wait until he surged another attack on the island before he went after this man. He, along with a team of other former SEALs, flew to North Korea to apprehend the suspect. Their mission ended up becoming compromised and 5-0 was called in as back-up. Commander McGarrett was rescued and the threat was eliminated. So the way I see it, 5-0 was entirely justified in its actions." He explained with a kind of finesse that would make a lawyer jealous. Jameson sat back in her chair and looked at him with a hard stare.

"You can't talk your way out of this one, Detective. I have given your team a lot of leeway when it comes to the rules in order to achieve results but this time you have all crossed the line." She stated coldly. Danny couldn't help the sinking feeling that washed over him. "I told you when you asked for my help that you and your team were not to go after the Commander. I told you if you went against my orders that there would be consequences." She added.

"We didn't have a choice! Steve was being held captive. We had to save him." Danny exclaimed. He couldn't believe she was actually going through with it. He thought that he would get a good dressing down at most. He never thought she'd take it this seriously.

"You had a choice, Detective. You chose the wrong one. Effective immediately the 5-0 taskforce is suspended indefinitely without pay." Governor Jameson declared. Danny's jaw dropped. "I warned you, Daniel. Actions have consequences."

* * *

><p>Steve had fallen asleep after talking with Mason for awhile. Between the weakened condition of his body and the morphine, he fell into a dreamless sleep, not waking again until early afternoon when his last dose of pain killers had worn off. The first thing that he noticed was that he was alone and he frowned. Mason must have slipped out while he was asleep but Danny should have been there by now. Steve's stomach dropped a little as negative thoughts began to flood his mind.<p>

Maybe Danny didn't want to see him. Maybe now that he was out of danger, Danny wanted nothing to do with him. Maybe, just maybe, Danny had never really been there at all. After all, he'd had a conversation with his dead mother. It wouldn't have been completely out of the realm of possibility that what he thought was Danny holding onto him in the helo was really just a figment of his imagination.

"What's with the aneurysm face? I thought you'd be happy to see me." Steve whipped his head towards the door at the sound of _his _voice.

"Danny." Steve breathed in relief as his partner entered the room. He briefly wondered if he was just imagining him again until he noticed his companions. "Grace, Makayla." He added, tears stinging his eyes. He hadn't realized how much he had missed his girls until he saw them again. Grace pulled away from her father's hand that she had been holding and hurried over to Steve's bedside.

"Steve, I missed you sooo much!" She exclaimed with a big smile.

"I missed you too Gracie." He replied, teary eyed as he reached out his good arm to stroke her face.

"I'm glad you're okay. Danno said you had to go chase the bad guy and you got hurt but that you're going to be okay because you're a Super SEAL and nobody can keep a Super SEAL down." She explained. Steve smiled at her.

"Danno's right, Gracie. I'll be back fighting bad guys in no time." He assured. He then looked over at Danny and his other daughter. "Look how big you've gotten Mak." Steve stated. It had only been a few weeks since he left but he felt as if he was looking at a completely different child. Makayla was looking less like a baby and more like a toddler now.

"Hey Kay, who's that?" Danny asked as he tapped her on the back. She picked her head up from his shoulder and looked over towards where he was pointing. "Who's that? Is that Daddy?" Makayla hummed in agreement and reached out her arms toward Steve. Danny took the few steps over to the bed and carefully placed the baby down next to his partner's good arm which came up and around to hold her in place.

"She's still not talking?" Steve questioned with a creased brow. At almost a year old he would have thought that she would have been saying at least a few words by now.

"She's apparently decided to take after you in that respect." Danny shrugged.

"Clearly. You would have thought being a Williams that she would have been talking straight out of the womb." Steve joked. Danny rolled his eyes.

"Ha ha. You're hilarious." He retorted. Steve smiled.

The banter seemed normal but he knew in reality it was all an act they put on for the girls, mostly Grace. She didn't need to go through another set of parents' turmoil or she'd never have any idea how to have a healthy relationship. Danny pulled the chair closed to the bed and sat down, pulling Grace onto his lap as she told Steve all about the things he'd missed while he was gone including the birth of her little brother, Charles William Edwards.

"Charlie's okay but he cries all the time. I like Makayla better 'cause I can play with her." She declared as she wiggled on her father's lap.

"Well your sister is older than Charlie. Eventually you'll be able to play with him too." Danny pointed out.

"Yeah, but he's a boy. He'll want to do boy things." Grace sighed in disappointment. Both men chuckled, neither of them pointing out the fact that by the time Makayla will old enough to really play with her Grace will probably be too old to want to play.

"What's wrong with 'boy things'?" Steve asked innocently. "You like sports like baseball and football just like Danno and I do." He reminded.

"That's different, Steve." She corrected. "Sports can be for boys _and _girls." Steve locked eyes with Danny.

"Kono." They said at the same time as an explanation for their nine year old's feminist response. They sat together as a family for a little while longer before Danny had to get Grace back to her mother.

"Hey," Steve reached out to grab Danny's arms as he reached down to pick up Makayla. "We need to talk." He stated, lowering his voice. Danny nodded.

"I know." He sighed. "I got to drop the girls off and then I'll be back."

"Promise?" Steve asked, not letting go of his arm just yet.

"I promise." Danny replied before disappearing with the girls.

Steve laid back on the bed and let out a heavy sigh. Being with Danny and the girls in their bubble of false happiness just made it allthe more obvious how badly he had screwed things up. Not for the first time since this whole ordeal began, Steve wished that he'd never made the decision to lie.


	19. You Never Once Let On

**_A/n:_**Well it's taken 23 chapters (between this story and the previous one) but Steve and Danny are FINALLY going to talk about what's happened. Communication is definately not their strong point.

_I can't believe my eyes, must be a bad dream. You always said we had a good thing. You never once let on we were falling apart. That ain't no way to go, it just ain't right. Don't you think that I deserved to hear you say goodbye?—Brooks and Dunn, That Ain't No Way To go_

Danny returned to the hospital an hour later as promised and the room felt ten degrees cooler than it had before. Without their children there to act as a buffer between them the feelings of contempt were exposed.

"Who's watching Makayla?" Steve asked, stalling as Danny sat down in the chair once again. Although he knew they had to talk about things, he was dreading the actual conversation because he knew it was going to be incredibly painful for both of them.

"Mary. I called her and asked for her help before I….left the island." Danny answered, his voice void of emotion, though Steve didn't miss his hesitation to talk about his rescue. "She said she'd come by later with the others."

"Oh." Steve replied. He tried to think of something else to talk about to distract his partner a little longer but his words failed him. Unfortunately for him, Danny didn't seem to have the same problem.

"You lied to me." Danny accused as he crossed his arms over his chest. "You made a conscious decision to lie, not only about _what _you were doing, but _why _you were doing it. I don't understand, Steve. Why would you do that to me? Don't you think that I deserved to know the truth?" He interrogated.

"You do, Danny. I…I was just trying to protect you." Steve stated.

"Protect me? From what?"

"From Wo Fat. I didn't want you involved in case things went bad. I wanted the girls to still have at least one parent if something happened to me." He explained.

"That's bullshit, Steven. You didn't want me involved because you didn't want me to stop you." Danny shot back at him.

"No!" His partner exclaimed. "That's not true."

"Really? Then why did you try to leave before I got back from New York? Why didn't you try to explain this to me at the airport?" He demanded.

"Because I didn't know what to say to you!" Steve shouted back at him. "Back then there was too much to explain and not enough time to give you the full answer." He explained.

"You've got time now." Danny pointed out. "So explain it to me."

"Wo Fat ruined my family, Danny." Steve sighed as he ran a hand over his face. "He was responsible for the bomb that killed my mother and when she died, it killed my entire family. I didn't just lose her, I lost my father and my sister too. I didn't have a family again until I met you. I couldn't let Wo Fat do it again. I had to stop him and the only way to do that was to kill him. I really did want to protect you, Danny. But I also didn't want to see the look in your eyes when you realized there was nothing you could do to stop me." He admitted honestly. Danny just shook his head.

"I understand what this meant to you, Steve. I really do. But your actions have spoken louder than your words. You don't trust me. If you did you would have explained all of this to me from the beginning. And as your partner and your husband, that's a hard thing to accept." He said sadly. Steve's chest tightened at the other man's words.

"I trust you—implicitly. And I know deep down you know that. You're just hurt right now. But you have to know that I never meant to hurt you, Danny. That was never my intention." Steve declared, looking Danny right in the eye.

"You may not have meant to but you succeeded anyways. I am hurt. I thought you understood that we were in this together -forever. Those were the vows we took and I can't help but feel like those vows are broken now." Danny said. Steve could see the tears in his eyes as he spoke. "I am fed up with worrying about you and I don't just mean the everyday worry that comes along with our job. That's a danger I can accept because it's the same one that I face. What I cannot accept is having to worry about whether or not you're going to run off on a vendetta every time a case or criminal gets personal. I can't do that, Steve. I can't be with you if you're going to continue to act like this." He admitted honestly.

"You said you wouldn't die for my vendetta." Steve said softly, remembering the words as clear as the first day he had spoken them. Danny ran his hands through his hair in frustration.

"But that doesn't mean that I wouldn't die _for you_." Danny clarified. "You know somewhere along the line you got this warped idea in your head that you're expendable. And so you walk around like some kind of matyr willing to die for everyone around you which may have been a fine mindset in the Navy but not anymore, Steve. You have so many people who care about you and we don't want you to die _for us_. We want you to live _with us_."

"I don't know any other way." Steve said.

"I know." Danny replied, a little bit of the fight leaving his voice. "God help me if I could figure out how to break you of the habit I would have by now. I can't force you to change your behavior. It's something that you have to do on your own. You have to want to change. I thought you had after your last deployment when you said you wanted a family and went into the reserves to prove you were serious. I guess I was wrong." He shrugged.

"No, you weren't wrong Danny, I was. Everything I told you back then was true. I just…got distracted. I've spent pretty much my entire adult life looking for the man who killed my parents and when I finally found him and had a chance to take him down, I let myself be blinded by it and I hurt my family in the process." Steve corrected. He itched to reach out for Danny's hand, but knew that he would be devastated if his partner rejected him. "Can you ever forgive me for all of this?" He asked hesitantly.

"I need time." Danny sighed. "I need to sort everything out in my head first. I wish I could just pretend that things are fine now but I can't Steve. And it wouldn't be fair to either of us to try to think we could just move on without working through this."

"But we are going to work through this?" Steve questioned.

"I told you forever and I meant it." Danny replied.

"I love you, Danno." Steve said, this time willing to hold out his hand to his partner.

"I still love you too Steve, but it's going to take awhile before I like you again." Danny frowned but he still reached out and took Steve's hand in his and held it. Steve smiled and for the first time in months felt hopeful about his future.

"That's okay Danno, I can wait."

**A/n: **See? There's hope for these two yet ;)


	20. I No Doubt Deserved My Enemies

**A/n: **I realized that I had my math wrong in the last note. It wasn't 23 chapters, it was more like 35 chapters. I only had 23 of them on my computer. Definitely need to work on those communication skills.

_I no doubt deserved my enemies but I don't believe I deserved my friends—Walt Whitman_

Steve had finally been able to get a full, restful night of sleep for the first time in months. While he physically felt miserable, emotionally he felt better than ever. He and Danny had spent the whole evening together, finally talking through everything that had happened and how they felt about the others actions. It was the most open and honest conservation that they had probably ever had as a couple. The talk had eased both of their minds and Steve's conscious as well. His partner was still mad at him for what he had done but he wasn't going to leave him and that was the most important thing to Steve.

After a night of uninterrupted sleep which allowed his broken body to recharge, Steve woke up the next morning feeling more like himself again. A small smile played across his face as he realized that he was almost feeling happy, something he hadn't felt in a long time.

"What are you smiling about?" A voice asked. Steve turned his head towards it and the smile quickly disappeared.

"Mom?" He asked as he looked at the woman sitting in the chair next to his bed. His heart began to race. This was _not _happening again.

"No, it's Mary, your baby sister." She corrected. Steve sighed in relief. "Man you must be pretty messed up if you thought I was mom." She stated.

"I never realized how much you look like her." Steve said to himself.

"Is that why you had that dopey grin on your face? Because you thought I was mom?" Mary asked. Steve shook his head slightly in an attempt to clear his thoughts.

"What? No. I was thinking about Danny." He replied.

"Were you having a sex dream? Eew!" She accused.

"No! Mary!" He exclaimed. "I was thinking about the talk we had last night." He added.

"Riiight." She responded, not believing him at all.

"Mary," He warned. She just looked at him with her arms crossed over her chest. "Where is Danny?" He inquired as he changed the subject.

"He and Makayla were still asleep when I left the house. He looked exhausted when he came home. I told him he could just go to bed and I would put Makayla down but he insisted on staying up with her." She informed with a shrug.

Steve felt a little pang of sadness. Bedtime was one of his favorite moments of the day. He loved the solid feeling of his daughter's tired little body in his arms as he cuddled her and gently rocked her to sleep. He had missed that over the last few weeks and was only going to miss more as he knew it would be awhile before he would be discharged from the hospital.

"Hey Mare," He called out to her to get her full attention. "Thank you for coming and taking care of Makayla for me and Danny. I know it eased Danny's mind to know she was in good hands." He said sincerely.

"Isn't that what family is for? To help each other out when we need it? God knows you've helped me out enough times. I was just repaying the favor." Mary shrugged.

"Still, thank you." Steve insisted. Silence passed between the two siblings for a moment before Mary spoke again.

"Did you get him? Did you really get the guy who killed mom and dad?" She asked quietly. Steve nodded.

"Yeah Mare, I got him." He assured her. Mary let out the breath she was holding and a few tears fell down her cheeks. "Mary…" He reached out a hand to try to comfort her. She waved him off.

"No no, I'm fine. I just…I didn't realize that finding the bastard would mean anything to me." She explained as she wiped at her face. "This was always your battle. I mean, you've spent most of your adult life trying to hunt this guy down and now you've finally done it. You should be the one crying, not me."

"It's closure." He pointed out. "You finally have closure and mom and dad can finally rest in peace."

"What about you?" She asked. "You keep saying that I have closure but what about you? It's finally over for you too. Don't you feel something about it?" She insisted.

"I…" Steve started and then stopped as he realized that, no, he didn't feel anything. Wo Fat was finally dead and he felt _nothing. _Maybe he just hadn't processed everything that had happened or maybe it had something to do with the fact that he had no memory of actually killing the man, but Steve was simply numb. "It's complicated, Mary." He offered as an answer instead. She rolled her eyes.

"Typical." She muttered under her breath as she slumped down in her chair. Steve opened his mouth to try to appease her but was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Can we come in?" Mason asked as he poked his head around the door.

"Since when do you ask permission?" Steve questioned, grateful for the distraction.

"Since the nurse made him." Joe answered as he strolled into the room like he owned it.

"Hey, I don't mess with nurses. Especially when I've got a catheter shoved up my—" Mason stopped short as he caught sight of Mary in the room.

"Don't hold back on my account." Mary said with a smile. Mason blushed slightly which caused Steve to laugh painfully.

"Mare, this is Cayleb Mason. He's an old friend of mine. Mason, this is my little sister Mary." Steve said, introducing them to each other. Mason held out his hand for Mary to shake.

"It's nice to finally put a face to a name. I've heard Steve talk about you before." He said.

"All bad I'm sure." Mary joked.

"Mostly." Mason shrugged with a smile. Mary reached over and smacked her brother on his good arm.

"Hey! No beating up on the cripple please." Steve declared. Mary rolled her eyes.

"Children, behave." Joe warned.

"Oh and this is Commander Joe White. He was my mentor in the SEALs and he was a friend of dad's." Steve added, having the good grace to look slightly sheepish.

"You probably don't remember me, but I remember you as a little girl." Joe said as he smiled at Mary.

"Oh my god, that's not fair. That's such a bad first impression of me." She moaned.

"Well you were a cute kid. Much cuter than your brother." Joe winked. Mary laughed while Steve frowned.

"What is this? Beat up on Steve day? In case you hadn't noticed, I'm already down." He complained.

"Means you're an easier target." Mason responded.

"I like him." Mary announced.

"That's great, that's all I need is you two ganging up on me. All you need is Danny and you can have a party." Steve groaned.

"You better not be having any parties in here, Commander." The nurse chastised as she entered the room. Mason immediately stood at attention which caused Steve to laugh again.

"No ma'am. They're just having a little too much fun at my expense." He stated.

"You all be nice to my patient now." She mock warned with a smile as she checked all of Steve's vitals. He might have been married and desperately in love with Danny but he could certainly appreciate the way his nurse looked and he could tell Mason and Joe did too.

"Thank you Isabelle." Steve said, giving her one of his thousand watt smiles as he read her name badge. She returned it with one of her own.

"Just doing my job. Now the doctor will be in soon to see how you're doing and I will be back to check on you later." She winked at him before leaving the room. They all watched her go before Mason turned back to him.

"She does know you're happily married, right?" He asked.

"To a man, no less." Mary added.

"Of course she knows. I am wearing my wedding ring." Steve pointed out.

"Uh, no you're not." Mason corrected as he gestured towards his right ring finger which was barely poking out of the sling and was bare. "Word of advice: don't ever flirt with the nurses when Danny's around. He just might kill you." Steve glared at Mason even though he knew his friend was right.

"I'm going to get a cup of coffee." Mary stated as she stood up.

"I'll go with you." Mason said.

"I should probably go supervise them." Joe suggested as he started to follow the others out of the room.

"Joe wait!" Steve called out to the other man. "Can I talk to you about something?" He asked.

"Sure son." Joe agreed. He came and took the chair that Mary had been sitting in. "What's on your mind?" Steve shifted slightly in the bed so he could look at the other man better.

"Does the name Shellburne mean anything to you?"


	21. You May Never Know What They Endured

**A/n: ** So personally, I think the whole Shellburne thing on the show was a bunch of nothing and that Steve is right and Joe probably did lie to him about what it truly was. Here, in my little world though, Joe's not like that and he's got a better explanation for what Shellburne really is. Also, on a completely random note, if you want a good laugh (you might need one after this chapter) I suggest going on YouTube and searching for "Hawaii 5-0 First Season Gag Reel". I do warn you though not to watch it if you're somewhere that's inappropriate to spontaneously laugh out loud because you will, trust me.

"_Things that happen before you are born still affect you and people who come before your time affect you as well."  
>― Mitch Albom, <em>_The Five People You Meet in Heaven_

"_I also believe that parents, if they love you, will hold you up safely, above their swirling waters, and sometimes that means you'll never know what they endured, and you may treat them unkindly, in a way you otherwise wouldn't." ― Mitch Albom, For One More Day_

"Does the name Shellburne mean anything to you?" Steve inquired.

"Where did you hear that name?" Joe questioned his eyes widening slightly as he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees.

"Wo Fat. I kept asking me about it while I was…" Steve's voice trailed off. Joe just nodded. "I didn't know what he was talking about…but I figured it had something to do with my father." He added.

"It does, but not in the way you think."Joe declared.

"What do you mean?" Steve asked, confused. The older man sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"Jonah Shellburne was a young lieutenant that your father and I served with back in Vietnam. He was one of the MPs on the base. Jonah was a good kid. He didn't have a great family life and had joined the Navy to try to make a better life for himself. He was sent out to us at Khe Sanh straight out of basic training and was pretty green but a good sailor none the less. Your father and I took a liking to him right away.

Anyways, one of Shelly's responsibilities was to keep out the natives who would try to sneak on the base. Most of them were just looking for food or shelter but some tried to steal weapons or ammunition and we couldn't be sure they weren't going to use it against us. Well, one night when he was on patrol duty he caught a woman trying to sneak into one of the tents. He stopped her and sent her back on her way but she kept trying to come back. Finally he managed to ask her why she wouldn't leave and she explained in her broken English that the village she was from had been destroyed by the VC and that they had killed her husband. She had nowhere to go and no food for her young son.

Being the kind of kid he was he felt bad for her and so he snuck her some food for them and then told her to go so that neither of them would get in trouble. A couple of nights later, Shelly's back on patrol and she shows up again. It soon became a routine. She'd show up every couple of nights and he'd sneak whatever food he could manage to find to give to her. Now some of us knew what he was doing but we just turned a blind eye. What he was taking was going to get thrown away or rot anyways. This had been going on for a few months when Shelly got tagged by a sniper while on patrol."

"He died?" Steve whispered. Joe shook his head.

"No, he caught it in the back. He had been paralyzed and sent back to States. Those of us who knew what he'd been doing knew that the woman—Mi, I believe her name was—would be back looking for him so your father went and waited for her arrive. When Mi showed up he tried to explain that Shelly was gone and we couldn't help her anymore. Our unit was almost through with its tour of duty and we couldn't guarantee that anyone would help her once we were gone. She begged your father to take her son and bring him back with us. Said she trusted him and she wanted to give her child a better life. It upset John but he knew there was no way we could bring a child back with us. "

"What was her son's name?" Steve asked, though the sinking feeling in his gut told him he already knew the answer.

"Wo Fat." Joe looked him right in the eye as he answered. "We didn't see Mi anymore after that night. After we got back to the States, we went to see Shelly. He was desperate to know what happened to her so I did some digging around. Shortly after our unit left, an incident occurred at the base. A couple of the natives ambushed the camp and were killed in the process. It turns out that they were actually VC sympathizers. Mi was one of them. She had lied to Shelly in order to provide for her son as well as help figure out entry points on the base. Her son was taken to a refugee camp and eventually moved to a orphanage where he stayed until he was 16. I can only assume that in Wo Fat's mind, he believed that Shellburne and your father were somehow responsible for her death and the way his life turned out." He added softly. Steve squeezed his eyes shut and a few tears escaped down his cheeks as he tried to process what he'd just heard.

"So you're telling me, that Wo Fat had my parents killed because my father wouldn't—couldn't—help his mother, who was actually one of the enemies?" He questioned in disbelief.

"I don't pretend to understand the logic behind his reasons, son. I can only tell you what I know." Joe replied, reaching out to place a hand over Steve's.

"_My_ parents died because of his warped perception of what happened to _his_ parents? That _my_ father's actions were responsible in _their_ deaths? It doesn't make any sense, Joe!" Steve exclaimed as he pulled his hand away.

"I know it doesn't, Steve—"

"My whole life was ruined because he thought my father ruined his?" He shouted as he became increasingly agitated.

"Steve, calm down—"

"I've spent the last twenty years blaming my father for everything that happened and it wasn't even his fault! I pushed him out of my life because I thought his work was the reason that my mother had died! I thought his work was more important to him than his family." He yelled.

"Now that's just not true. John loved you and Mary more than anything. That's why he sent you away. He wanted to protect you." Joe stated.

"I hated him. I hated him for what he did and I never forgave him for breaking us up." Steve declared, hurt clearly written across his face.

"And in his mind, at least you were alive to do so." Joe replied.

"God! Why couldn't he have told me this? If not when I was younger then after I was in the Navy myself. I would have understood!" Steve demanded as he ran a hand roughly over his face.

"Because I don't know if your father ever put the pieces together." Joe admitted. Steve clenched his jaw and breathed heavily through his nose as rage coursed through him. "Look, Steve, I know this is a lot to handle but—" Steve help up a hand to stop him.

"Don't Joe, just…don't." He couldn't handle sympathy or pity or calm rationalizations right now. The only thing he could hang onto and grasp at the moment was the fact his parents had essentially died for nothing.


	22. Unless You Happen To Be Going Down

**A/n: **So I think that it's pretty obvious that even though I have used events that have happened in the show, this story is AU and I am not following cannon. Steve never went to prison and Kono was never arrested for stealing the money used to save Chin's life. And thank you all for being patient with me. The last few weeks have been insane with trying to finish everything for my Bachelors' Degree.

"_A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down." -__Arnold H. Glasgow _

Danny had really hoped that he'd feel better when he woken up that morning. He and Steve had talked the night before and while it was progress, Danny didn't feel like they were actually moving forwards yet. It was more like they had reached a plateau and were no longer sinking. Still, he had hoped that getting a decent night's sleep would help him move past some of his negative feelings but when he opened his eyes and was once again forced to face the cold, empty space on the other side of the bed that familiar feelings of resentment clenched around his heart and that dark cloud found its way over his head again.

Mary had left earlier to go see Steve so Danny had taken his time getting ready. The McGarrett siblings needed some time alone together so Danny decided to just have a lazy morning at the house with Makayla and then head over to the hospital in the afternoon.

A part of him wasn't ready to face his partner just yet. On top of his mixed emotions he was already feeling towards Steve, there had been added a layer of guilt from his own actions. He knew he had to talk to Chin and Kono (and Steve) about what had gone down with the Governor the previous morning but he didn't know how. For a man with such an impressive vocabulary, he couldn't seem to find the words to explain how badly he had screwed things up. Unfortunately, Danny didn't get a chance to try to figure what to say to the cousins before Kono showed up at the house while he and Makayla were eating breakfast.

"Hey Danny." She greeted as she entered the house and joined them in the kitchen. She leaned down and placed a kiss on top of Makayla's head, avoiding the splotches of mashed banana that she had gotten in her hair.

"Hey Kono, what's up?" Danny asked as he took a sip from his coffee mug.

"I just wanted to come by and see how you were doing." She replied casually as she sat down in the chair across from him. Danny scrunched his brow in confusion and a bit of speculation. His friend was trying a little too hard to not be suspicious.

"I'm fine." He stated in questioning tone. "Is there something in particular you'd like to ask me about?" He said, calling her out. He didn't have the energy to play games right now.

"Danny," Kono sighed, knowing she was busted. She splayed her hands on the table in front of her. "I know you've been through a lot lately. The last few months have been hard on you and it's perfectly understandable if you need a break. Just….don't make any rash decisions right now. Take some time to think about things." She stated. Danny stared back at her in bewilderment.

"What the hell are you talking about?" He questioned. He got the feeling that there was more motivation behind her words than just his general well-being.

"I know that things have been stressful and that getting back to 5-0 is the least of your concerns with Steve in the hospital but there's no rush. Chin and I can handle things till you guys are ready." She explained. Danny sighed as he started to realize what she was getting at.

"Kono, what did you hear and who did you hear it from?" He inquired with a patience usually reserved for Grace when one of the boys at school had fed her another dose of misinformation. Kono shifted in her seat and turned her stare away from him.

"I ran into a couple guys from HPD who said they heard you got into it with the Governor and that you were going to quit." She said with a reluctant sigh. Danny bit back a groan. What was it about HPD and gossip? They spread things around worse than a group of teenage girls and rarely ever actually got the information right.

"Kono, you can't listen to the things HPD says. Most of them are jealous of 5-0 and they'll say whatever they want to try to knock us down a peg." He declared. Kono had the good grace to hang her head a little bit as she realized that she'd been duped.

"So you're not leaving 5-0?" She asked.

"No." Danny shook his head and realized that it was now or never to confess to her what he had done. "I _did_ have a meeting with the Governor the other day but I _didn't_ threaten to quit my job." He clarified. Kono looked back at him with questioning eyes. "Just the opposite exactly." He added under his breath.

"What are you talking about?" She inquired. It was Danny turned to break his stare away as he stared into his coffee cup.

"Before we went to find Steve, I spoke with the Governor to see if she could help us. She told me that there was nothing she would do. Steve wasn't on a State sponsored mission and so she would not allocate government resources to help find him….she told me that if I or any other member of 5-0 left the island to go after him there would be serious consequences." He explained, keeping his voice low as he spoke. "I should have told you guys all of this before we left for Korea but I was just so focused on finding him that I didn't stop to think about anything or anybody else."

"Danny," Kono took his hand and gave it a squeeze. "Do you really think it would have changed anything? That Chin and I would have changed our minds if we had known the Governor didn't approve?" She asked.

"I had no right to risk your guys' job—"

"Danny. We stole ten million dollars from HPD to save Chin's life-getting on a plane to save Steve pales in comparison." Kono insisted.

"I know but there's a difference between grand larceny and potentially starting an international incident." Danny said shaking his head as he stood and walked away from the table to refill his coffee mug.

"Not to me. And not to Chin. We're family Danny and nothing is more important than that." She declared. He didn't respond but just stood with his back to her. Kono could see the tension in his shoulders and she knew that they hadn't gotten away with their crazy stunt this time. "Danny, what did the Governor do?" She pushed gently.

"She's suspends the entire 5-0 taskforce indefinitely without pay." He whispered.

"What? This doesn't make any sense." She gasped. "Why is she so upset that we had to save Steve? I would have thought she would have been all for it?"

"I don't know." Danny replied, turning back around to look her as he ran his free hand over his face roughly. "I've been going over it in my head since it happened and it doesn't make any sense. I can understand her being upset because I didn't listen to her or because Steve never even asked for permission but she shouldn't have punished the whole taskforce." He sighed.

"This is weird, Danny." Kono stated, with a familiar look on her face. Danny bit back a groan. He knew that look. It was the same look that Steve got before coming up with one of his crazy ideas.

"Kono, no." He warned as he came back over to the table. "No, this is not some crazy conspiracy against 5-0 alright? This is just what happens when we push things too far." He said, as much trying to convince himself as he was Kono.

Danny didn't have the energy or the desire to go picking another fight right now. He already had his hands full with dealing with Steve alone. Kono simply hummed, too distracted by her thoughts to answer properly. Something was amiss within the Governor's office, she could feel it in her gut. And with the two bosses of 5-0 currently out of the game, it was up to her and Chin to figure it out before the whole thing destroyed them all.


	23. There's No One Left That's Real

**A/n: **And just when you think they've got things figure out, they screw it all up again

_Everyone is changing there's no one left that's real. So make up your own ending and let me know just how you feel, cause I am lost without you, I cannot live at all. My whole world surrounds you, I stumbled and I crawled…Can you take it all away when you shoved it in my face? Can you take it all away? It's playing your game to me…Nobody told me what you thought, nobody told me what to say. Everyone showed you were to turn, told you when to run away.-Puddle of Mudd, Blurry._

Steve's hospital room was uncomfortable.

The room was warm and slightly sticky as the air conditioner did its best to keep up with the late summer heat and humidity that blanketed the island but the feeling in the room had less to do with the temperature and more to do with the tension that was radiating off of the two men that sat in restless silence within it.

Steve was lying in his bed, staring out the window at nothing and didn't even bother to turn his head when his partner entered the room. Danny made several attempts to try to engage Steve in a conversation but received nothing but silence in return. Eventually he gave up and turned on the TV to at least provide background noise as Steve continued to ignore him. Steve knew that Danny was only going to last so long before finally snapped and demanded to know what was wrong but for the moment, he was willing to accept the other man's ignorance.

His mind had wandered into a dark place after his talk with Joe earlier. He had thought that if he could learn the truth about Shelburne, that it would somehow make his parent's death make sense-that it would give some kind of meaning as to why they had to die. Instead, the only thing the truth had done was make him feel even more confused about the whole situation. What or who had warped Wo Fat's mind so badly that he honestly thought that killing John McGarrett would avenge his own mother's death? The worst part about it was that Melinda McGarrett had died in vain. She was merely collateral damage in Wo Fat's attempts to take out his father. It had made Steve sick to think about at first but now, that feeling had been replaced with anger.

They had made it a whole two hours without saying a word to each other before Steve suddenly began to move on the bed. At first Danny thought he might have been convulsing until he realized that it was really just Steve attempting to throw off his blanket and sit himself up on the bed, a feat that was hindered greatly by only having one useable arm and a severely restricted leg. He jumped up out of his seat and over to his partner's bedside where he tried (and failed) to get the other man to calm down.

"Whoa whoa, Steve, what the hell do you think you are doing?" Danny demanded as he pushed down on Steve's good shoulder.

"I want up out of this bed." Steve demanded as he resisted against Danny's efforts. He needed to get up out of this bed. He needed to find some kind of physical release to let go of some of the tension that had built up within him.

"Okay, fine. That's understandable but you can't be jerking around like that while your leg's in traction. The doctor says if things look good you can start light physical therapy next week." Danny informed insistently. He was starting to worry that Steve was going to hurt himself further if he continued to move around like he was.

"Why can't I start now?" Steve complained, not willing to give up just yet.

"Because Steven, you're less than 72 hours out of surgery. You need to give yourself some time to heal first. I know it sucks and if I were in your position I'd hate it too but unfortunately there's nothing we can do about it." Danny explained, trying not to lose his temper. "Why the sudden desire to move? Twenty minutes ago you were content to remain a vegetable."

"I just need to get out of here." Steve growled. He flopped back on the bed violently as he realized that his efforts to move were in vain.

"I understand that, but you're going to be confined-not only to this hospital-but this bed for awhile still. You messed your hip up pretty good and it's going to take awhile for it to heal." Danny explained.

"I know that, Danny. You don't need to explain it to me like I'm some kind of idiot." Steve snapped at him. His physical limitations only served to add to his frustrations and with no other way to relieve his stress, he lashed out at his partner and was suddenly looking for a fight.

"Why are you so upset?" Danny asked with a frown as he stared down at him.

"I'm not upset." Steve declared with a huff.

"I beg to differ. You are clearly upset about something and if you don't tell me what the something is it's going to continue to bother you and you're going to wind up hurting yourself even more. So please, tell me what is going on in that frightening place known as your brain?" Danny pushed.

"You wouldn't understand." Steve muttered under his breath. Danny heard it anyways.

"Try me." He said. Steve clenched his jaw.

"I'm not in the mood to talk. Damn it, Danny. Can't you just let things go?" Steve demanded.

"No!" Danny responded, slamming his hand down on the tray table, suddenly having enough of Steve's attitude. "Because I 'let things go' for almost two months and look what happened?" He exclaimed as he gestured towards Steve in the bed.

"Right, I forgot. The entire world revolves around you, Daniel." Steve snarled back with bitter sarcasm. He could have—_should have_—stopped there but the anger pulsing through his veins felt good. The hum of adrenaline that was now racing through him made him feel like himself again—made him feel like he _was_ still alive and so he plowed ahead, consequences be damned. "Contrary to what you may think, Danny, I can make my own decisions. I can decide what _I_ want to do and when _I _want to do it. I do not need your permission to live my life." He said, his tone dark and scathing. One look in Danny's eyes and he could tell by the sudden flash of hurt that he had hit all the right buttons to push the other man away. A small voice in the back of his head was telling him to stop. It was telling him that if he went any further he was going to push Danny away for good and that wasn't what he really wanted. But the adrenaline overran his common sense and made him go to the kill.

"We are partners." Danny stated, his voice shaking slightly.

"That doesn't give you the right to dictate what I can and cannot do. It's _my_ life and I can do whatever the hell I want with it. " Steve threw back at him. Danny took a step away from the bed as if he had been physically assault by the words he'd just heard.

"You know, I've seen you be mean before and I've heard you say things you don't necessarily mean in the heat of the moment. But I have _never_, in all the years I've known you, seen you intentionally try to hurt someone. I know you're screwed up right now, but that does not give you the right to take it out on me when I am just trying to help you. I am not responsible for the things that have happened recently. They're all on you, you selfish bastard." Danny hissed before turning and leaving the room without ever looking back.

Steve sunk back deeper into the bed and sighed. He had seen the pain he had inflicted in his partner's eyes by his callous words and he felt nauseous. Danny was right. It wasn't right of him to take things out on him but he had been there and Steve needed the violent release to make someone else feel as bad as he did. The satisfaction he had taken in starting a fight with Danny quickly disappeared and had been replaced with a feel of regret and slight panic. Things were tenuous at best between him and his husband right now. Steve had no idea how much it would take to push Danny away for good but he had damn sure given him a shove in the right directions.


	24. It's Too Late to Make It Right

**A/n: ** I don't know why Steve is being a total bastard right now but that is the way he is determined to come out. Joe is starting to take after him now too. Maybe somebody will knock some sense into them soon. And _KitMerlot _you know me so well ;)

_Forgive sounds good. Forget? I'm not sure I could. They say time heals everything but I'm still waiting. I'm through with doubt, there's nothing left for me to figure out. I've paid a price, and I'll keep paying. I'm not ready to make nice. I'm not ready to back down. I'm still mad as hell and don't have time to go round and round and round. It's too late to make it right, probably wouldn't if I could cause I'm mad as hell and can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should. –Dixie Chicks, Not Ready to Make Nice_

Danny's entire body had been humming with anger as he hurried out of the hospital and to the Camaro. He couldn't believe the things he'd just heard. Steve didn't need him and didn't want him. A part of Danny knew that his partner was just lashing out at him in anger over something else but there was another part that wondered if Steve really did mean the things that he said. Not that it made much of a difference at that point. Danny was still hurt and he wanted to put as much distance between him and the hospital as quickly as possible. So he had raced back to the house, determined to get some kind of reason to explain what had just gone down. Mason and Joe had returned to the house with Mary after their visit to the hospital and he just knew that Joe had something to do with Steve's current mood.

"What did you say to him?" Danny demanded as he stormed into the house and into the kitchen where the two men were seated. He slammed his hands down on the table, rattling the china slightly as he leaned in towards the older man.

"Say to who?" Joe asked, feigning ignorance as he sipped his coffee. Danny resisted the urge to throttle him.

"The Pope." Danny responded sarcastically. "I'm talking about Steve! Things were okay between us the other night-not great but getting better. Then you go see him and suddenly it's like I've gone back in time three months and my husband refuses to speak to me anymore. So I ask again, what the hell did you say to him?" He insisted.

"Whoa Danny, hold on a minute." Mason said, holding up a hand to try to stop the blonde and his rant. "What are you trying to say? You think Joe is trying to sabotage your marriage?" He asked, confused at that train of thought.

"I don't know what to think anymore especially since I just had possibly the _worst_ fight ever with Steve who told me that he doesn't need or want me in his life anymore." Danny declared. Mason paled a little.

"What?" He whispered. Mason had been worried about his friend when they left the hospital earlier but he never thought he would react this badly.

"Yeah, apparently my presence in his life is no longer appreciated it seems." Danny huffed as he stood up straight and pulled his arms up across his chest. "So I ask again, what the hell did you say to him that made him turn against me?"

"It was nothing against you, Danny." Joe insisted. "Steve asked me a question about something that Wo Fat had told him and let's just say it wasn't exactly the answer he was looking for." He explained. Danny frowned.

"What is that supposed to mean?" He demanded. He was not in the mood for cryptic answers right now.

"I told Steve the real reason why his parents died and it wasn't what he wanted to hear." Joe said simply. Danny sighed and ran a hand roughly over his face.

"His parents. I should have known." He shook his head. "Nothing screws him up worse than his parents. What did you tell him?"

"That's not for me to repeat to you. It's Steve's personal business and if he wants you to know, he'll tell you." Joe replied stubbornly.

"Don't you get it?" Danny exclaimed as he took a few steps away from the table. "Steve's 'personal business' is _my_ personal business. Anything that affects him, affects me."

"I'm sorry, Danny. But it's not my place." Joe insisted. Danny clenched his fists to try to keep his rage in check and Mason could see that he was nearing his breaking point.

"Look, I know Steve is upset by the news he received this morning but if you just give him a little bit of time—" Mason said, trying to defuse the situation but he only served to make things worse.

"Time? I have given Steve nothing but time over the last couple of months. And the only thing that time has done for us is pulled us apart!" The detective shouted.

"Danny," Mason started. "I know things have been rough between you two lately but I'm sure if you went back there, Steve would be sorry for the way he acted and would want to make things right." He suggested.

"I highly doubt that." Danny commented as he turned and left the room. He headed back through the living room towards the stairs. He needed to get away quickly, not only from Joe but from the house and the entire situation. Mason threw back his chair and followed after the shorter man.

"Danny, wait." He called out after him. He found Danny already upstairs and in the nursery throwing things together into a diaper bag. "What are you doing?"

"I am packing." He informed, his tone void of any emotions as he continued to add to the bag.

"Where are you going?" Mason insisted, slightly panicked.

"I don't know. But I can't stay here. Not right now. I've got to some thinking to do and I can't do that here surrounded by…_him. _I need a little distance from everything." Danny declared gesturing to his surroundings as he finished. He threw the bag over his shoulder and headed out of the room and down the hall to his own bedroom.

"You're going to leave him?" Mason asked in disbelief.

"No….maybe….I don't know, alright? That's why I need to get away. I need to clear my head and be able to think things through. I don't know what's going to happen. All I know is that right now, I don't think I can face him again without doing or saying something we'll both regret."


	25. A Tension of Opposites

**A/n: **A little look into the life of our dear friend Mason. I think that if he's going to be a regular character in this story (which for the most part he is) then we should get to know him a little bit better. Also, if anyone is interested, I always like to 'cast' my characters as if I were actually going to put them on the show and if I were going to cast someone to play Mason, it would be Jesse Spencer who most of you will know as Dr. Chase from House (just replace the Aussie accent with a Southern one—and it's just a coincidence that I happened to pick another Aussie actor to be buddies with Alex O'Laughlin)

"_Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted. A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle."—Mitch Albom, Tuesdays With Morrie_

Mason had a reputation as being the 'easy going' one. The mild mannered middle son of a North Carolina farmer, he had shocked his family when he announced his intentions of joining the Navy after high school. He had claimed he felt a sense of responsibility to carry on the family legacy since he came from a long line of military men when the reality of the situation was that there wasn't the money to go to college and he had to do something to get away from his small minded hometown. The Navy was the only way he could see to avoid a future where he was stuck plowing the same fields his father and grandfather had. It was respectable work and there was certainly no shame in it, but Mason knew that if he were to stay he would never be able to be his authentic self. He had learned from a very small age that around those parts there was only one way of life that would be accepted and anything different would just simply not be tolerated.

From the time he was about eleven, Mason knew that he was different from the other boys in school. He didn't enjoy a lot of the same activities as his brothers and preferred to stick closer to the house and his mother rather than work outside on the farm with his father. His mother seemed to know there was something special about her middle son and she would protect him from his father who had always made him uncomfortable for reasons he'd hadn't been able to figure out as a child. Mason's differences did not go unnoticed by the other kids and they made fun of him for it constantly calling him a wuss and saying that he was a girl because he liked to read and cook instead of play football or chase girls like his brothers.

Things only got worse for him the older he got and by the time he was in high school, Mason knew that he was gay and that there was absolutely no way he could ever tell anyone about it. He had been questioning his sexuality in the back of his mind for awhile but he had dismissed it as part of his curious nature. It wasn't until he realized that he had a crush on the majority of his baseball team that he knew it was more than just curiosity.

The thought of living the rest of his life in his hometown of less than a thousand people who knew everything about everybody's business depressed him. Mason knew he would become one of the town outcasts instantly if he ever came out and that's when he began to figure out some way of getting out without having to hang his tail between his legs in the process. He had always been well liked around town and his pride made him wanted to be able to leave with his head held high and not have to resort to slipping out in the middle of the night.

His grades were good enough to get him into college but his family didn't have the money to send him. A few schools had come to scout his high school's baseball team but they hadn't been very interested in a back-up outfielder with occasional power. Mason was beginning to wonder if he was ever going to find a way out. Then one day at practice he overheard one of the other guys talk about how he had met up with a recruiter who had literally promised him the world and Mason knew then what he had to do. The day after graduation he drove to the closest Navy recruiting center and signed on the dotted line for a chance at freedom.

Mason knew that being in the military wouldn't be any different than being at home in the fact that he still couldn't tell anybody that he was gay but his plan had been to do his six years and then let the Navy pay for his college education. After that, he could live an open life somewhere that would finally accept him for who he truly was. That plan went to hell the first week of basic training after he met his bunk mate—one Steven J. McGarrett.

Mason had liked Steve from the very moment he met him. They had a lot in common—fathers they couldn't relate to, home towns they could never go back to—and Mason couldn't help but think in the back of his mind too that Steve was an incredibly good looking guy. With years of practice behind him, Mason managed to suppress his lustful feelings in order to build a friendship with Steve. His friend had an air about him that made people want to follow him which was why Mason always knew he'd make a great commanding officer and a fine career naval man. It was Steve's charm that managed to make Mason change his mind about his six and out plan and go to SEAL school instead with his friend. He had been reluctant at first. He had never been a violent person and much preferred to use his words to get out of tense situations than his pistol but the SEALs found value in his ways as did Steve. When McGarrett had been given his first team he had insisted that Mason was a part of it.

They had worked together on the same team for nearly five years which was nearly unheard of amongst SEAL teams and they were a damned effective pair. But eventually Mason had burned out of the lifestyle. He was tired of the secrecy in both his personal and professional lives and knew something had to give. He had considered leaving the Navy all together in order to finally live the life he wanted to but they had managed to convince him to stick around and become a drill instructor which gave him more stability and predictability in his work and the chance for a more normal life. He had accepted, knowing in a way that his leaving the SEALs had hurt his friend in a way.

At that time, Steve didn't understand his desire for normalcy. During many a long night spent together on covert ops, Mason had confided in Steve his deepest secrets including the biggest one concerning his sexuality. It had been an enormous risk to take considering DADT was still in place and all Steve had to do was mention one of their conversations to a superior officer and Mason would have been out of the Navy before he could have blinked. But it was a risk he had been willing to take because he trusted Steve who, as promised, had never outed Mason. He had been totally accepting of Mason being gay but he hadn't understood at the time his desire to have a family. Steve's family was broken and he didn't see himself trying to build a new one with anyone else.

"_Why would you want to 'settle down' and get married? I never want to 'settle' for anything. I want to be able to do my own thing without having to worry about how it will affect somebody else." Steve stated as they sat back to back while on patrol one night._

"_It's not about settling McGarrett. It's about sharing yourself with somebody else. It's about experiencing things together—the good, the bad and the ugly—it's about the security of knowing there's always somebody out there that's got your back and the comfort of knowing that someone loves you even when the rest of the world seems to be against you. It's about growing old with someone and watching your kids grow up knowing at even when you're gone a little part of you lives on in and through them. Don't you want that, Steve?" Mason explained wistfully. Steve didn't respond but Mason could see the thoughtful expression on his friend's face and knew that he had gotten through to him._

The two men had parted ways some after Mason left the SEALs. He was trying to make a new life for himself in San Diego while Steve was still hunting down bad guys around the world. So when Mason had heard that Steve was not only back in Oahu and had retired from the Navy but was married to another man and had kids of his own, he was admittedly stunned. Steve had always been a bit of a ladies' man when they were in the SEALs so the fact that he was now with a man should have surprised him but Mason really wasn't. He had always wondered about his friend. There had been times that he had thought there might have been a chance for something between them but Mason valued the friendship too much to sacrifice it for anything else. Now it seemed that fate had switched up their hands and somehow Steve had ended up with the life that Mason had always wanted. When Steve had called asking for his help, Mason had gone as much out of curiosity as a desire to help. He had to see who had finally changed his friend's mind.

Mason had to admit that Steve and Danny were good together. They seemed to balance each other out and made up for each other's deficiencies with their own qualities and he couldn't help but root for them to pull through. If they could make it then it gave him hope for him and Andrew. But seeing the way that Steve was treating his partner lately had lit an angry spark inside of Mason. A burning mixture of jealously and disappointment that raged deep in his gut. He had seen how crushed Danny had been when he came home from the hospital and announced that Steve didn't want him anymore and it only added fuel to the fire. His friend was ungrateful for the life he was living—a life Mason had always wanted so desperately. He couldn't just sit back and watch as Steve single handedly ruined his relationship with Danny.

Mason had to do something.


	26. This Bond Between Us

**A/n: **Man, I really didn't want to make Joe a jerk in this story like he is on the show but it's just so easy to do so I guess I'll have to settle for making him _less _of a jerk. I'm glad you all responded so well to Mason's back story. I just needed to tell his story to help explain some of his actions. On a side note: there is **so** much I can do with last night's episode. We're definitely going to see some of it in this story.

_Come stop your crying, it'll be alright. Just take my hand, hold it tight. I will protect you from all around you. I will be here don't you cry. For one so small you seem so strong, my arms will hold you keep you safe and warm. This bond between us can't be broken. I will be here don't you cry.—Phil Collins, You'll Be In My Heart_

Chin Ho Kelly never ceased to surprise Danny.

The detective had gone over to his place after leaving the house to retrieve Makayla who had been spending the day with him and Malia. When Danny explained to him about the blow up at the hospital and Joe's subsequent refusal to tell him the reason behind it, Chin had merely sat and listened patiently until he was through ranting. When Danny then stated that he needed to get away for a few days to think, Chin hadn't passed any judgments or tried to convince Danny to stay and try to work things out. He instead offered him access to a cabin a friend of his rented out to him on occasion up on the North Shore. It was a place that would allow Danny the space and seclusion that he craved while still allowing him to close in case anything happened. Danny had willingly agreed to take him up on the offer and it was now where he and Makayla were hunkered down for the next few days.

The cabin was located on the part of the North Shore that allowed him to see both the sunrises and sunsets so he sat out on the small deck with Makayla lying on his chest and watched the sun slowly disappear down into the vast expanse of glittering water. Danny had never been one for quiet contemplations in nature. He usually preferred to let things to stew around in his mind while he went about his business but the beautiful surrounding offered him the kind of calm his life had been lacking lately and gave him the chance to really think without distractions or interruptions.

Makayla shifted her head slightly on his shoulder as she tried to burrow deeper into him as she began to whimper. Danny sighed and he placed a kiss on the top of her head as she started to cry. He hadn't felt like a very good father recently. Grace and Makayla had ended up collateral damage in the storm that raged between him and Steve. Grace at least he knew had Rachel to take care of her and she was somewhat used to him being absent from her life at times (a fact that Danny despised) but poor Makayla was stuck in the eye of the hurricane with no hope of getting out.

"I'm so sorry Baby Girl." Danny whispered as he laid his cheek against her head and ran a hand up and down her back. "Daddy and I haven't done a very good job of providing you with the life we promised. Your mama gave you to us because she thought we could give you a better life than she could. But right now, I think she would do a better job than we have so far." Makayla lifted her head slightly to look up at him with her watery blue eyes and sniffled.

"Hhhhmmmmmm." She muttered to him as she reached up to put her hand to his mouth. Danny pressed a small kiss to her fingers.

"I promise Makayla, that Daddy and I will do better. We won't let anything else happen to you. You've been through more in your first year of life than some people experience in their entire lifetime. But Daddy and I are here to protect you. It's why we do what we do. We keep this island safe because this is yours and Grace's home." He declared softly.

"Mmmmmmm." Makayla hummed as she moved her hand to his cheek. Danny tilted his head slightly into her touch.

"And I promise, that even if things don't work out with me and Daddy that it wasn't because of you and that you are still loved and wanted very very much." Danny added, his voice beginning to break as tears escaped down his cheeks.

Makayla frowned as she felt the wetness on her hand. She pulled it off of his cheek and look at it for a minute for showing it to her father with a look on her face as if to say, 'Why are you crying?'. Danny took her little hand and pressed a kiss to the palm as he gave her a sad smile. Her frown didn't go away, if anything it deepened and she stared at him another minute before she threw herself back down against his chest. She spread her arms wide across his chest and tried to squeeze as if she was trying to give him a hug. More tears fell onto Danny's cheek as he wrapped his arms around his daughter and held her tight against him. Makayla sighed and started to babble quietly as if she were offering words of comfort. Danny just rocked her gently in his arms as he pressed multiple kisses into her reddish brown curls.

"I know you won't remember any of what has happened this past year, Makayla….but I will. I'll never forget it."

* * *

><p>"<em>You should have told Danny." Mason accused with a finger pointed at Joe as he stormed back down stairs while Danny finished packing.<em>

"_It's not his story to know." Joe replied nonchalantly. Mason stopped in his tracks and stared at the older man._

"_Do you have some kind of problem with Steve and Danny's relationship?" He questioned. _

"_No." Joe shrugged._

"_Then why are you interfering in it? Whatever you told Steve has seriously screwed him up and Danny just wants to help him but he can't do that if he doesn't have the facts. They are at the precipice of their relationship and you can either help pull them off the ledge or push them over it. What's it going to be?" Mason demanded, stopping just short of stomping his foot. _

"_Why does this matter so much to you? It's doesn't affect you whether they stay together or not." Joe pointed out. Mason clenched his jaw. He couldn't explain why it was so important to him for Danny and Steve to work things out but the thought of them breaking up was devastating to him._

"_They're my friends. They deserve to a chance to be happy again." Mason insisted. Joe just stood from the table and gave the younger man a look._

"_Some things just aren't meant to be." _

Mason had been sitting in Steve's room brooding over that conversation all afternoon. Steve was asleep when he entered, giving him time to think about how to get through to his friend. He knew that he needed to maintain a calm demeanor to avoid the discussion turning into a screaming match but anger was the primary emotion coursing through him and Mason just wanted to haul Steve out of the bed and shake some sense into him and do something to show him what a mistake he was making. But instead Mason sat silent as the he watched the other man slept, allowing the calm to linger a little while longer.


	27. Responsible For The Mess You Made

**A/n: **Mason's finally had it with Steve.

_Part of getting a second chance is taking responsibility for the mess you made in the first place-anonymous_

Steve woke slowly with the sensation that somebody else was in the room with him. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up slightly as he sensed a bit of hostility radiating off of his visitor. He figured it was Danny who had come back to either apologize for the fight earlier or go around round with him. He turned his head slightly towards where he knew the chair was and braced himself for whatever his partner threw at him. He jumped slightly as he realized that the man sitting at his bedside was not in fact his partner but rather Mason who looked incredibly pissed off.

"What are you doing here, Mase?" Steve inquired.

"I needed to talk to you." Mason declared, his voice oddly calm and almost calculated as he stared at the wall opposite of him.

"Okay, what about?" Steve pushed as he tried to get a read on his friend. There was a look on Mason's face that caused a little ball of worry to form in his stomach.

"Choices." Mason stated simply as he stared straight ahead, not looking at Steve. "We need to talk about the choices that we make in our lives and the consequences of those choices."

"Damn it, Mason. If this is about going to North Korea again I already explained it to you." Steve snapped, not wanting to go down that road right now. Mason shook his head slightly.

"That's not what I'm talking about." He corrected and then added softly. "Why'd you choose to join the Navy, McGarrett?"

"What? I don't know. Why are you asking me about it?" Steve shrugged. Mason's mood was beginning to really concern him. It was starting to remind him of the way he would act while conducting interrogations of terror suspects.

"You didn't just join the military on a whim, McGarrett. So answer my question—why did you join the Navy?" He demanded forcefully.

"Because my father and grandfather were Navy. I thought it would…..I thought it was a good way to stick it to my father. He didn't want me to join. He wanted me to go to college instead." Steve admitted. He had to stop and clear his throat to swallow the guilt that had risen in the back of his throat. The military was just another disconnect in his relationship with his father. "Why do you need to know this, Mason?"

"Do you remember the reason I told you for why I joined?" Mason continued, ignoring Steve's question.

"You said the Navy was your way out of your small home town." Steve stated. "Now tell me what the hell is going on. You're not making any sense." He demanded but Mason seemed to continue to ignore him.

"The Navy was my opportunity to get out and have a chance at living my life the way I wanted to. It was my chance to find a place where I could be accepted for who I was and to find somebody to love so I could have a family the way I wanted, not the way people thought I should have one. Do you remember that talk we had about family, when you said you never wanted to settle down?" He inquired. Steve gave him an odd look before he remembered the conversation he was referring to.

"It's not about settling, it's about sharing." Steve repeated in a whisper. Mason nodded slowly and finally looked over towards him.

"You found someone to share your life with. Despite your claims of independence you managed to find someone who'll always have your back and who you can grow old with and watch your kids grow up. You found someone who loves you unconditionally. You've attainted everything I've dreamed of and you don't even appreciate that you have it." Mason hissed. The calm façade he had been trying to maintain was slowly slipping away from him as his anger rose.

"What the hell are you talking, Mason? Of course I appreciate Danny and the girls!" Steve exclaimed.

"Really? Cause you have a funny way of showing it." Mason retorted. "Danny just wanted to help you and instead you pushed him away and out the door." Steve's eyes went wide at the last statement and that ball of worry begun to morph into slight panic.

"What do you mean I pushed him out the door? Where's Danny?" Steve demanded. He was starting to sense that something had gone terribly wrong and knew that he was probably responsible for it. It was an easy assumption with him and his partner these days.

"He left, you asshole!" Mason shouted at him, his anger finally getting the best of him. "He packed up the baby and took off because he couldn't stand to be around you right now. Personally, I don't blame him. I mean Christ McGarrett, how could you say you don't want or need him anymore?"

"I never said that!" Steve shouted back incredulously.

"Apparently you did because that's what he thinks. He thinks you've pushed him out of your life." Mason stated, arms folded across his chest.

"No! No! That's not what I meant!" Steve insisted as he shook his head repetitively.

"But that's the message you sent." Mason replied as he jumped up from his chair and ran his hands through his short hair as he started to pace. "God, do you have any idea what I would give to have what you have? Do you know what a gift you've been given? You have Danny and the girls and your friends. You know what I have? I've got you and Andrew. You don't know what it's like out there, Steve. Here in paradise you get to have your cake and eat it too. Nobody looks down on you for the choices you've made. Nobody slanders you and calls you dirty names behind your back. You get to lead a normal life here but outside of this tropical oasis it's different. Back on the mainland they'd rather criminalize you than treat you like a regular person. I don't have to go looking for trouble the way you do, Steve. I find it just by being myself." He explained defensively. Steve just stared at his friend for awhile as his words sank in.

Mason was right. He was being selfish and he did take Danny and their life together for granted. They had been together for so long now that Steve had forgotten what his life had even been like without his partner in it. With everything that had happened recently, he had reverted back to his old self. He was back to being the guy that didn't think he needed other people and didn't stop to think about his actions affected others. He didn't think about how easy it was for him to hurt people, Danny especially, when he fell into those kinds of moods. "_It's about experiencing things together—the good, the bad and the ugly". _Steve had forgotten that there were two of them in this relationship, not just himself.

"Mason, I..I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…." Steve's voice trailed off as he was unable to find the words to express himself properly. He didn't usually have to say them, Danny always already knew the words. Mason sighed as he slumped back into his chair.

"Look, I know you've got a ton of shit to deal with right now and none of it is very pleasant, but Steve you can't shut everyone out in the process. You've got to talk to someone. Even if you can't talk to me or Danny you got to talk to someone or you are going to end up alone." Mason said. His tone was sympathetic but his eyes relayed the seriousness of his message.

"You really think Danny would leave me?" Steve wondered, his voice rough.

"I think he's seriously contemplating it." Mason admitted. "And you said it yourself the first night I got here, that Danny is strong enough to leave you if you keep push him away." Steve threw his head back on the pillow and sighed heavily.

"I can't lose him or the girls….but I don't know how to make them stay." He confessed quietly. Mason leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees.

"Start with yourself, Steve. Get yourself put back together and then you can work on fixing everything else. But you've got to stop this self-destructive shit. Admit you need help. You have plenty of people in your life who are willing to step up to the plate if you just ask." He explained. Steve looked over at his friend with new resolve.

"Will you help me, Mason?"


	28. Reminisce Sometimes

**A/n: **This chapter is kind of just filler but I'm feeling about as bad as Danno is today so I'm posting this simply to make me feel better. Wildwood, NJ is a real place. My mother grew up in NJ and she used to spend her summer vacations there with her family as a child.

"_Sticking with your family is what makes it a family."—Mitch Albom, For One More Day_

'Made a small breakthrough. Take all the time you need._'_

Danny had sat and stared at his phone for awhile. He had found the text message from Mason on his phone when he arrived back at the cabin that evening. A part of him wanted to call up the other man to see what kind of breakthrough he had made with his partner but the other part told him to just let it be for now. It wasn't going to change his current mind set at the moment and if anything could only make him feel worse. So he settled for a simple 'thanks' in response and tried to turn his attention back to his youngest daughter.

Makayla fussed quietly from her spot on her blanket that was spread across the wood floor. Her cheeks were still slightly pink from the sun and the wispy ends of her reddish brown hair curled into perfect little spirals to create a kind of crown around her head. She was exactly the kind of distraction he needed right now. Taking care of her kept him busy while not allowing his mind to wander too much. He could focus solely on her and know in his heart that no matter what, there was somebody out there that still needed him.

They had spent the whole day outside in the water. While Danny was by no means an ocean fiend like his partner, spending the day at the beach reminded him of the summers he spent down the shore with his family as a child. Every year when school let out his parents would pack him and his siblings up in the car and they would make the almost three hour journey down to Wildwood for a few weeks. It was probably the only two weeks of the year that all three of the Williams children actually got along. Something about the salty sea air and boardwalk atmosphere caused them to put aside their differences and allow them to be a happy family for awhile. In the back of his mind, he wondered if that was part of the reason why he had taken his daughter out today. He was trying to the kind of happiness again. Caught up in his memories, Danny reached for his phone again to talk to someone who would understand what they meant to him.

"Hey Danny." Casey answered on the third ring. Her voice sounded tired but there was a warm, inviting quality to it that made it seem as if she was genuinely happy to hear from him.

"Hey Case, sorry about the late hour." It was a five hour time difference between Oahu and Chicago so he knew that it was pushing ten o'clock where she was but she didn't seem overly concerned about the time.

"Don't worry about it, I was just getting home from work. What's up?" She asked.

"Nothing, it's just…do you remember the summers that we used to spend down in Wildwood?" He randomly inquired.

There was silence on the other end for a moment and for a moment Danny thought she had hung up. Casey had been pretty young when they when they had taken those tripped and with so many bad childhood memories, he wasn't sure if she had blocked out the good ones. He was beginning to wonder if he had upset her and she had disconnected the call but the soft breathing he heard let him know that she hadn't hung up.

"Casey?" He called out to her.

"Sorry. You just threw me for a minute. Wildwood? With the bad carnival rides, rickety old boardwalk and air that always smelled like fried food and the ocean? How could I forget it?" She replied and Danny was please to note that there was the same sense of happiness in her voice that he had felt as he remembered. "Do you remember when Dad fell asleep on the beach and you and I buried him in the sand?" She asked.

"Yeah and when he woke up and realized what happened, he got mad and immediately blamed Matt for it." Danny laughed. Casey had been a mischievous child and he had no problem being her partner in crime at times. Most of the time she just wanted some attention.

"Matt was the obvious suspect because he had done the same thing the year before. Besides, who was going to think it was me? I was like all of about five years old at the time. Nobody would have believed I could have done it all by myself and nobody was going to accuse you of it. You were the golden boy." Casey said the last part jokingly but Danny couldn't help the little stab of guilt that hit him. He didn't feel much like a golden boy these days.

"Do you remember the hotel we used to stay at?" He asked in an attempt to change the subject.

"Oh god yes. The Beachwood Motel. The place was a dump but Dad always insisted on staying there because that's where he had stayed with his parents as a boy and it was right there on the beach. I always had to sleep on the couch while you and Matt shared a bed. You always complained that Matt was a bed hog." It was Casey's turn to laugh.

"He was a bed hog." Danny replied. Another prick of guilt hit when he realized he was talking about Matt in the past tense, as if he was dead. In all likelihood, his younger brother probably was.

"I remember how Dad and I used to sit out in one of the beach chairs at night and he would tell me stories about him and Mom and the things they used to do before they had kids, when they were just young and dumb." Casey added in an almost wistful tone.

"I don't remember those." Danny said, his tone soft to match hers.

"That's because it was Dad and I's thing. Those stories were my fairytales. I don't even know if any of them are true but I believed in them anyways. Daddy was a great storyteller. I guess that's where I got my talents from." She explained. Danny couldn't help but notice how she talked about their father in the same way that he talked about Matt, as if he were no longer with them and in a way, Charlie Williams hadn't been with Casey for a long time. "What's really going on, Danny? I don't think you called me up at this time of night just to reminisce about old childhood memories." Casey questioned, clearly having had enough of that particular topic.

"I spent the day at the beach with Makayla and it just got me thinking." Danny explained.

"Oh. Did she seem to like it?" Casey asked, curious as to her daughter's reaction to such an event.

"I'm not really sure. She seemed a little bit hesitant to go in all the way. I had to hold her most of the time. I think all that water scared her a little bit." He stated as he looked over at the baby girl who was barely keeping herself upright as her eyelids began to droop shut. He took the few steps over to her and scooped her up in his arms.

"How did Steve take that? I bet he was hoping she would be a little fish baby and take to the water like a natural." Casey said.

"Steve wasn't there." Danny declared as he stumbled back into his chair.

"Oh." She said again, her tone suggesting that she picked up on the bad vibes in her brother's voice. "Where was he?" She inquired, trying to keep her voice light but Danny knew better.

"He's in the hospital right now, Case. That little trip to North Korea didn't exactly go as planned." He informed.

"Oh god, is he okay? I mean, obviously he's okay or you wouldn't be spending the day at the beach but what happened?" She rambled. Danny sighed. He really couldn't tell her what had happened. There were already enough people in trouble because of it, he didn't want to risk anymore problems.

"He got a little banged up, busted his shoulder and his hip, but he'll be fine." He settled for instead.

"Are you going to be fine?" She asked and he cursed silently, knowing she must have picked up on his tone again.

"I don't know, kid. Things between Steve and I are….a little tense right now." He answered honestly.

"How tense are we talking about? Just a little lover's spat that will blow over?...Or is it time to start calling the lawyer?" She questioned.

"I don't know, Case." Danny sighed again. "A lot has happened over the last few months and I just don't know if we can truly move past it all." He added. There was silence on the other end again for a minute.

"Look, I know I'm no expert when it comes to relationships and I wasn't exactly the most helpful person when you and Rachel spilt—"

"You told me I should have arrested her when she first ran into my car and saved myself the time and money that I wasted on her pompous British ass." Danny retorted dryly.

He could just see his sister's cringe. Her feelings towards his ex wife were not very pleasant and she made sure that he knew them at the time. But she had softened towards Rachel since Makayla was born, either having found a new respect for her now that she was a mother herself or realizing that Rachel was going to be a part of her daughter's life whether she liked it or not, Danny didn't know.

"And I was wrong. But I know that this time things are different with you and Steve -and forgiving for being a tiny bit selfish but my kid is involved in this situation too—but I ask you not to make a rash decision. I don't know all of the details of what exactly is going on between you two but has he really done anything so bad that you could _never _forgive him for it? Are your problems really so bad that you would be willing to go through _another _divorce?" She offered. "I don't expect you to have an answer right now. I just think it's something you should keep in mind while you're making your decision, that's all."

"Thanks Case." Danny said sincerely.

"What are little sisters for?" She laughed. Danny attempted a smile but it faded quickly as he could hear the faint sound of another person's voice in the background on his sister's end.

"Who was that?" He asked, trying to keep his voice from taking on an accusing tone.

"What are you talking about?" She replied. She was trying to sound innocent but Danny knew his sister well enough to know that she knew she was caught.

"Who over at your apartment at ten o'clock at ten on a Tuesday?" He questioned.

"A friend." She replied vaguely.

"A guy friend?"

"Yes, Danny, a guy friend—my boyfriend in fact." She declared defiantly.

"Case…."

"Save it, Danny. I don't want to hear the same lecture I've heard a million times. Kris is a good guy. He's an investment banker who treats me well. That's all you need to know." Casey insisted. For a moment Danny thought about pushing her for more information but he stopped himself. He was in no position to judge her relationship when he couldn't even keep his own together at the moment.

"As long as he makes you happy." He conceded.

"He does." She sighed. "Thanks big brother." She added sincerely.

"I should let you go, it's late. Thanks for the talk." He said.

"Anytime. I really do hope that you can work things out with Steve. If you two fail then I hardly think there's any hope for the rest of us to ever actually find happily ever after." Casey responded as she hung up.

Danny tossed the phone aside as he pressed a kiss on top of Makayla's head before resting his cheek against it. Happily ever after was a concept he no longer believed existed anymore.


	29. Heaven On Their Minds

**A/n: **So the resounding theme from the last few chapters is: Poor Danny, Steve's an ass. Well, let's see if we can work on Steve a little bit. And just when we think we're done with the bombshells, Kono goes and stumbles across another one….

_Listen Jesus I don't like what I see, all I ask is that you listen to me. And remember, I've been your right hand man all along. You have set them all on fire, they think they've found the new messiah. And they'll hurt you when they find they're wrong.—Jesus Christ Superstar, Heaven On Their Minds_

"Commander McGarrett?" Steve glanced over his shoulder towards the door where a tall blonde stood waiting with what he assumed was supposed to be an easy smile. He wasn't fooled. She screamed 'shrink' from her perfectly coifed blonde bob to the impractical black pumps on her feet.

"Can I help you?" He asked in a disinterested tone. This might have been part of Mason's plan but that didn't mean he had to like it.

After admitting to his friend that he needed help, Mason had detailed out to him a plan that would help lead him to both mental and physical recovery and first on that list was for Steve to talk to a mental help professional—aka a psychologist. Steve was not thrilled with this idea but he knew that he didn't have much of a choice at this point. He had been stripped of control over his own life for the time being and though he'd never admit it out loud, that was probably a good decision. He didn't exactly have a good track record when it came to making choices lately.

"I was actually hoping that I could help you." The woman declared as she entered the room and came to stand at his bedside. Steve barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "I'm Jennifer Lewis. I'm—"

"A psychologist." Steve finished for her. She gave him a crooked smile.

"That obvious huh?" She joked. He just nodded. "Well I just wanted to stop by and talk to you for a little bit. I've heard that you're going through a bit of a rough patch right now." She added in a sympathetic tone.

Steve wanted to tell her that he was fine and that he didn't want to talk to anyone, least of all her. But as he turned his head to look at her better he caught something out of the corner of his eye that made him stop and bite his tongue instead. Mason had taped a picture onto the bedrail to serve as motivation to remind him why he had to get better. It was from this past Christmas. Steve and Danny sat next to each other on the couch, dressed semi-causal in jeans and a button-up shirt. On each of their laps sat one of their daughters—Grace with Danny and Makayla with Steve. The eldest sat sweetly on her father's lap with her wrapped around his neck as she smiled at the camera while the youngest squirmed helplessly, pawing at his face as Steve attempted to stand her up on his legs. They were all laughing and looked extraordinarily happy.

_Was that the last time we were__that happy? _ He wondered to himself as he stared at it. He tried to think of the months that had passed since then. It had been over six months since that picture was taken and so much had changed. _How much of that is your fault? _He asked himself but it was a question he already knew the answer to.

"Commander?" Mae called out, reminding him of her presence. "Are you alright?"

'_No,'_ Steve thought to himself. '_But that's why you're here, isn't it?'_

* * *

><p>Kono had an advantage over the rest of her counterparts at 5-0 and it was simple—HPD actually liked her.<p>

Despite their ill feelings towards her cousin, most of the officer in HPD knew and respected her if for no other reason than her bloodlines. Being a cop was kind of the family business with the Kalakahuas and Kellys and she had numerous family members of vary degrees of relations on the force. That bought her a little bit of credibility. The skills and abilities that she had shown while on the job had earned her the respect.

A part of her felt bad about the acceptance that they gave her and not the rest of the team. While Chin was slowly beginning to regain a lot of the recognition and respect that he had lost, Kono also knew there were some guys who would never believe that her cousin was innocent and would never change their attitudes toward him. Steve garnered respect based upon his position as the leader of 5-0 and as a Naval officer but there were a lot of officers who resented him for those same reasons. Not that it ever seemed to bother Steve. No, the one who was affected the most by the resentment was the SEAL's partner and second-in-command. Poor Danny took the brunt of the hits for 5-0 from HPD. They would probably never truly accept him as one of their own, no matter how many of them he saved or how hard he worked to protect the island he had now accepted as his new home. He would always be a 'haole' to them.

Today she was on a recon mission. There was just something odd about the way the Governor had reacted to their trip to North Korea and she knew that Danny suspected something was up as well. But he had enough on his plate at the moment so she had decided to take this one on with the help of Chin.

She was sitting at the counter of one of the local diners that also happened to be a favorite with HPD officers, both off duty and those grabbing a quick bite during their shift. A coffee cup rested idly in one hand while she pretended to read the newspaper with the other. Two uniforms sat a few stools down from her and they could have given a group of little old ladies a run for their money with the way they were gossiping over their plate lunches. She could barely make out that they were talking about something that had gone down during the last shift. So far, they hadn't mentioned anything of interested to her and so she kept one ear trained on them while she watched a group of plain clothes walk through the door.

"…..The Governor was livid, man. I guess her precious pets finally screwed the pooch for good this time." One of them stated as he walked through the door. Kono ducked her head down, hoping they wouldn't recognize her right away. Her curiosity was peaked and she didn't want them to stop short because they saw her.

"It was only a matter of time before McGarrett and his merry band of misfits finally hung themselves. She gave them enough rope to do it with. I mean, really, full means and immunity? I can't believe he fell for it." It was a different guy this time, the tallest one of the group who wore a suit that was about two sizes two big.

"I just can't believe that she waited this long to pull the plug on that little experiment. She had to know that he was eventually going to figure things out and when he did, he'd expose everything." The third guy of the group chimed in. Kono risked another glance at them before she finally recognized who these guys were. They were part of the Governor's protection detail. _Excellent. _She thought to herself as they passed behind her without recognizing her.

"Nah, she's not totally screwed. McGarrett managed to land himself in the hospital for awhile and she disbanded his lackeys. She's got time to fix things before he realizes what was really going on." The first one spoke again. Kono's eyes went wide as she realized what they were implying. She listened to their conversation for a few minutes more but they soon moved on to other topics so she quietly paid her bill. As she slipped out of the diner, she pulled out her phone and dialed her cousin.

"Chin, it's me. We've got a problem—a major one."


	30. So Complicated Now

**A/N: ** Well has certainly changed since the last time I posted. Not sure how I feel about that. Anyways, I've rewritten this chapter like four times and I'm still not entirely sure I like it but it's better than it was originally. Introspective and stubborn Steve ahead…you've been warned.

_The truth is so complicated now—Goo Goo Dolls, What Do You Need?_

Steve hated awkward silences.

An absence of noise or talking in the right setting was one thing. The quiet that would fall over the house at night after Danny and Makayla went to bed when only the distant sound of crashing waves or the hushed sounds that whispered through the office when they were all hard at work on a case or paper were comforting to him. But the silence that occurred when talking _was _expected unsettled him.

Dr. Lewis was seated in the chair next to his bed, notepad balance precariously in her lap with pen poised and ready to write as soon as he spoke. So he didn't. Just because he had asked Mason for help didn't mean he was going to accept it without a bit of kicking and screaming. Dr. Lewis seemed to realize that he wasn't going to be starting a conversation anytime soon so she took the lead instead.

"Look Commander, I don't want to be your enemy. I'm not here to cause you unnecessary distress or pain. I just want to help. You yourself admitted that you can't do this all on your own. So let me in, talk to me so we can figure out how to make thing better." She declared.

"I don't know where to start." Steve sighed reluctantly. His life was in so many pieces at the moment that he wasn't sure which fragment to start with.

"Let's start with how you ended up here in the hospital. Your file says that you were injured assisting on a military operation overseas?" She said more as a question than a statement.

'_Oh good, more half truths and lies. Isn't that what got me into this mess in the first place? _He thought to himself bitterly. He knew that Mason had fudged the facts because there was a lot about what they did that just couldn't be trusted to civilians—doctor/patient privilege or not—but he hated having to add to his collection of mistruths. It was tiring to keep up with them all. But knowing he had no other option, he agreed with her.

"Yeah, joint task force operation." He muttered.

"Now I know there's a lot you can't tell me, but how did your team get involved with this joint task force?" She inquired.

"We were hunting down the same man. I had some connections that got me in." Steve answered with a shrug. It wasn't a total lie but more an absence of details.

"Right, you were in the Navy before you took the job with the Governor's task force. You joined the Navy when you were eighteen…was a member of the SEALs by twenty-one…moved up the ranks quickly….you were a model Naval officer. Why leave a successful military career to become a cop? That seems to be a bit of a step backwards to me." Dr. Lewis asked as she read from his file.

Steve was silent for a moment. The doctor was right. 5-0 wasn't exactly a career advancing move for him. He could have been a Captain or higher by now if he had stayed but he hadn't been thinking about his future at the time—he had been thinking about revenge.

"Commander?" She prompted.

"My father had been murdered. The Governor offered me an opportunity to find the person responsible." He answered finally.

"So the decision was personally motivated? You wanted justice for your father and…possibly revenge?" She wondered. Steve turned away, knowing the answer was in his eyes. "It's okay to feel that way, Commander. It's natural to seek vengeance when bad things happen to us. The problem is when we let that vengeance consume us, when we allow it to become an obsession that takes over our lives…Is that what happened? Did finding the man who killed your father become an obsession?" Dr. Lewis asked.

"It's complicated." Steve responded. Everything was complicated nowadays, even the things that used to be simple.

The "simple" answer used to be that he took the job to find the man who had killed his father. The problem was that every decision he had made after that had changed his life dramatically. Without his father's death, then there was no Detective Danny Williams in his life and without Danny there is no Grace or Makayla. Without 5-0, then there was no learning the truth about his mother's death. Without the truth about the car accident, there is no Wo Fat. Without Wo Fat, there is no vendetta. Without the vendetta, there is no reason for him to throw his perfect life away. So the answer that had once seemed so easy, was now more complicated than ever.

"Hmm," The doctor hummed as she jotted something down quickly. "This joint task force—did it have anything to do with the man who killed your father?"

"That's classified." He declared. She just gave him a look that said she knew he was deflecting the question.

"I'm just curious as to why you would agree to take part in this mission." She wondered. Steve sighed.

"We were hunting down the same man." He repeated.

"I know that. But you didn't have to go. You're not active duty military anymore and there was no order from the Governor, you weren't obligated to go. Your involvement was purely voluntary. And I guess I'm wondering why a guy who's married with young children willingly goes off on a dangerous mission like this unless he has some serious motivation?" Dr Lewis asked.

"Why does it matter what my motivation was?" Steve demanded as his irritation rose.

"Everything matters, Commander. Nothing we do in our life is insignificant. We just don't always realize the importance of our choices until much later. You made the decision to go on this mission and you paid a price for it—and not just physically." She informed. Steve just gave her a questioning glare.

"What are you talking about?"

"Your file says you're married with two children, but the nurses say that your family has only been by once to see you since you've been admitted. You're having problems in your marriage." She stated simply. Steve's glare turned harder.

"Well you clearly have all the answers there in your file so why the hell do you need to talk to me?" He sneered.

"I only have some very basic information in here, Commander." Dr. Lewis said, gesturing to the folder on her lap. "These are just facts and they can't tell me how you feel or what it was like to be in certain situations. Only you can tell me those things."

"And why should I tell you anything? You seem to have a pretty good idea what's going on in my head already." He snapped.

"Because I can't help you if you don't meet me halfway. If you want to fix the problems in your life than you have got to talk to me. I promise that everything you tell me stays in this room. All your secrets are safe with me." She promised. Steve just shook his head.

"My secrets aren't the problem." He corrected. "It's the truth that's ruining everything."


	31. Follow My Example

**A/n: **So it's been forever since the last time that I posted and I have to give a shout out to _LadyAilith_ who sent me some encouragement to not let this baby die. I think I've found my footing in this story again so hopefully I'll be able to post more regularly again.

"_Every father should remember that one day his son will follow his example instead of his advice"-anonymous_

"I'm getting too old for this shit." Mason muttered as he levered himself up off the sleeper sofa in Steve's home office that had been serving as his bed for the past two weeks.

The bed reminded him of the barracks back in basic training and he silently cursed McGarrett in his head for owning the damn thing. Shuffling out of the room and down the hall, Mason scrubbed a hand over his short blonde hair in hopes of soothing the pounding in his head. Mornings like this were a rude reminder that he wasn't twenty-five anymore and therefore shouldn't try to drink like he was. He had told himself it was for the right reason but good intentions couldn't cure a hangover.

It had been almost a week since Danny left with the baby and there had been no word from him since. Chin had assured him during one of his visits to the hospital that the detective was okay but that he just needed time to sort things out. Mason understood and respected that but the longer Danny stayed away, the longer things went unresolved and the farther Steve slipped away from them and into his depression. He had asked for help but so far the almost daily therapy sessions didn't seem to be doing much for him. If anything, they were making things worse.

Mason needed to do something to fix what was broken between the two men before it was too late. But first he needed to gather more intel about the couple before he could devise a plan. Lucky for him he found Steve's sister, Mary, to be a more than willing informant, especially when piles with a little liquid encouragement. She had seen their progression from work partners to friends to lovers and she explained to Mason how things had been different between them from the very beginning.

"_They were so not a case of love at first sight." She laughed. "They couldn't stand each other when they first met. Like they literally would rather fight with each other than try to be nice. Steve thought Danny was a loud haole who talked too much and Danny thought Steve was a sadistic robot who had no understanding of what it meant to be a cop. Eventually, after a lot of yelling and bullets, they realized they were wrong about each other and actually had more in common than they thought. I mean, they still argue all the time but it just became their thing. That was just how they talked to each other. Before everything went sideways they were inseparable. You couldn't have one without the other."_

Mason was encouraged by what Mary had told him. It gave him hope that things could be repaired. If they had fallen in love once, he was certain he could get them to fall in love again. Stumbling into the kitchen, he was making a beeline for the coffee pot when he noticed one of the house's other occupants was already up seated at the table.

"Morning Joe." He greeted and then stopped in his tracks as he noticed something under the table. "You going somewhere?" Mason inquired as he nodded towards the duffle bag near the older man's feet.

"Got a few loose ends to tie up before this whole Wo Fat mess can be officially put to bed." Joe replied as he finished his last swallow of coffee and then rose to his feet.

"How long are you going to be gone?" Mason crossed his arms over his chest and tried to remain causal. In reality, he was slightly irritated at this news. Joe was the one who had dropped the bomb on Steve that made his friend push everyone away and now he was just going to take off and leave Mason with the fallout.

'_Not like it's the first time he's done this to you' _the younger man thought to himself bitterly.

"I'm not sure how long I'll be. But I'll be back once I've got things sorted out." Joe assured.

He gave Mason a slap on the back before hiking the bag onto his shoulder and heading towards the door. Mason shook his head as he watched him go. He needed coffee and handful of aspirin if he was going to have any shot at functioning today.

* * *

><p><em>Steve heard their loud voices drift up the stairs and into his room. <em>

"_How many times, Jack? How many times are you going to keep feeding me the same stupid lines? Huh?" His mother shouted. Steve cringed slightly. Mom never shouted. _

"_Oh come on Mel, cut me some slack here! It's not like I just blew it off, I was working." His father shot back. _

"_That's the thing, Jack. You're always working." _

"_My job is important, Melinda." He sighed. _

"_Your family is important!" She yelled back at him. "The kids are growing up incredibly fast but you're not around to see it. Steven is ten now and he needs you around more than ever." She added in a slightly softer voice. _

_Steve's chest tightened a little as he realized what they were fighting about. Today was his first Pop Warner football game and his dad had missed it. He had been disappointed but thought he had hid it from his mother. Apparently, he hadn't. _

"_Steve know I'm here from him." Jack insisted._

"_It's one thing for him to know but another for you to actually show it. It was his first game today. He completed his first throw. Got his first touchdown. And you missed it. For what? To chase down some slimy drug dealer? Was it worth it?" Melinda questioned. _

"_That's not fair, Mel. You know I love my kids but I love my job too and what I do helps to keep this place safe for them. I'm trying to protect all of you." His father insisted. His mother began to laugh._

"_Oh yes, how could I forget? You're the almighty protector of the island. Anarchy would break out if you took even an afternoon off to watch your son play ball." She mocked._

"_Melinda—"_

"_Forget it, Jack. I've heard it all before." She cut him off, sounding suddenly defeated. "But don't blame me when in ten years you know every criminal on this island but you don't know your own children."_

Steve awoke in his hospital bed with that same tight feeling from his childhood trapped in his chest. How had he forgotten about that? It was one of the few times he could remember ever hearing his parents truly fight. And it had been a doozy. His mother had given his father the cold shoulder for two weeks after that. As he thought back on the memory, a cold realization settled over him.

"Oh my god," He muttered. "I've become my father."


	32. When You See Us Together In a Photograph

**A/n: **We haven't checked in on Danny and Makayla in awhile. Let's see if they can give us something to smile about :)

_Well it happened last winter, we had a son and they took a picture of family 'round one. It's there to remind you when you can't recall what your daddy looked like when you were so small. Though you won't remember it will still make you laugh when you see us together in a photograph.-Charlie Robison, Photograph._

Rain had rolled in early that morning forcing Danny and Makayla to stay inside of the cabin that day. The tiny three room house was furnished with only a few things and had minimal electric which meant no television. The only forms of entertainment available were an old radio and a bookcase filled with dusty novels. Makayla didn't have the attention span for books and preferred throwing them around to sitting and listening to her father read them aloud.

"Well you certainly don't take after your mother in that respect." Danny muttered as he looked at the pile of discarded paperbacks on the floor.

Casey had always adored books and would beg for 'just one more' story which inevitably would turn into at least three more. Makayla paid him no mind as she continued to pull books off the shelf. One clattered to a stop next to his foot and flopped open. It was an old photo album. Danny reached down to pick it up to keep it out of harm's way. He was just about to close it when he happened to catch a glance at one of the photographs. A familiar face jumped out at him and Danny cursed under his breath.

"Chin Ho Kelly, you sneaky bastard. Friend's cabin my ass." He snorted.

Jack McGarrett's face, albeit younger, was easy to recognize as it stared back at him from the page. He had a big smile plastered on his face as he looked at the woman standing next to him. Her head was tossed back as she laughed at something off camera. In her arms was a small boy, no more than three years old with his head resting on her shoulder and a big smile on his face. _Steve and his mom. _Danny realized.

They looked happy. He had only seen one or two pictures of Steve's parents before but those had been staged studio family portraits from when Steve and Mary were kids. These photos were older, more candid shots. Danny took the album and settled on the couch as he started to flip through the pictures.

Melinda McGarrett was incredibly pretty. Steve obviously got his looks from her. Danny could even see the same mischievous look that Steve sometimes got in his eyes reflected in hers. It was also clear that Jack had been head over heels for her. He looked like the luckiest guy in the world whenever she was next to him. _Do Steve and I ever look like that? _Danny wondered as he stared at the couple who would have been his in-laws._ Hell I can't even remember the last time we took a picture together. _Makayla brought Danny out of his thoughts as she made her way over to him and began to tug at the book in his hand.

"Come here, Kay." He said, scooping her up with one arm. He then settled her on his lap so she could see. "Look Kay. There's Daddy." He pointed to a picture of Steve who was probably around ten and was dressed in a football uniform. Makayla looked at the picture, then at Danny and then back at the picture. "I know he look a little different. That's when he was a little boy." He explained as if she understood him.

As they continued to look through the pictures, he started to notice that Jack appeared in less and less of them as the kids got older and Melinda's smile was a little more forced. Danny frowned as she abruptly disappeared from the album as Steve reached his teenage years. The seemingly perfect family was now broken and about to be scattered to the wind. Suddenly he started to feel a little bit guilty. His partner had already lost one family and now Danny was considering breaking apart the new family they had built together. Idly, he wondered if Melinda had ever felt the way that he did. Did she ever question when enough was enough with Jack? Did she ever give him the choice of his family or the job? Danny sighed as he looked down at the last picture in the book of Jack and Melinda. Gone were the carefree attitudes and in their place were tight, resigned stares and sad smiles. _What do I do Melinda? _Danny wondered. Looking at her in that photo felt like looking in a mirror. Makayla hummed and patted his cheek as if to ask why he was sad. He kissed the back of her head.

"That's your Grandma Mel and your Grandpa Jack." He explained as he pointed to the picture. "I'm sorry you won't ever get to meet them but they're watching over you from Heaven and I know they love you very much." Makayla frowned and turned back to the book.

Danny flipped a few more pages and found another picture of Steve. He was older in this picture, maybe around sixteen. He was wearing blue and green swim trunk, his hair matted down on his head as he held a string of fish. _Spear fishing with his dad. _Danny figured. Steve looked annoyed at having his picture taken by who Danny assumed was probably Mary. Melinda was gone by this point and it was most likely the last vacation Jack had taken with his children before sending them away. Makayla wiggled slightly on Danny's lap and reached out a pudgy hand, pointing at the boy looking back at them.

"Dada?" She said and Danny's heart damn near stopped.

"What did you just say?" He asked her, surprise mixing with the hope written all over her face. She just looked at him, not understanding what the big deal was. "Makayla, who is that?" Danny asked, pointing at the picture.

"Dada!" She squealed and he began to laugh.

"You did it, Kay. You finally said your first word. I knew you could do it." He cracked a smile that threatened to break his face and kissed her head again. Makayla grabbed a hand onto his shirt and used it as leverage to stand up on his lap so that they were nearly eye to eye. "Who am I?" He asked.

"Dada!" She smiled. Danny wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly against her chest.

"You're so smart, Makayla." He praised. "Who taught you to be so smart?"

"Dada!" She shouted.

The word was clearer each time she said it and it made Danny's heart swell. There had been some concern for awhile that she was delayed mentally from the meningitis. She had recovered physically fairly quickly once they were able to get her weight back up and she hit the milestones for crawling and walking. But they were worried that because she had had such high fevers and seizures for so long that there might have been some damage done mentally. She had been babbling nonsensically for months but the longer she went without actually talking, the more they worried. But as she stood on Danny's lap, practically shouting the word over and over again, he was convinced that now that she had started talking, there would be no stopping her.

The photo album fell off of his lap as Makayla continued to bounce and clattered to the floor and Danny reached down to get it. A thought occurred to him suddenly as he saw his partner's blue eyes staring at him.

_I have to tell Steve. _


	33. Is It Too Late To Try?

**A/n: **Don't hate me!

_I'm at a payphone trying to call home, all of my change is spent on you. Where have the times gone, baby it's all wrong. Where are the plans we made for two? Yeah I know it's hard to remember the people we used to be. It's even harder to picture that you're not here next to me. You say it's too late to make it, but is it too late to try? And in our time that you wasted, all of our bridges burned down. I've wasted my night, you turned out the lights. Now I'm paralyzed, stuck that time when we called it love. But even the sun sets in paradise.—Maroon 5, Payphone_

Danny had been just about to hit the send button on his cell when reality came crashing down over him. _What the hell am I doing? _He had gotten so caught up in the moment the he had forgotten the reason why Steve wasn't with them in the first place. He couldn't just call his partner up like nothing had happened. What was he going to say? '_Hey baby guess what? Makayla said her first word and oh by the way I still have doubts about the future of our relationship…'_ He sighed and shook his head in defeat. Makayla, as always, seemed to notice his sobering mood. She looked up at him from her seat on his lap and then to the phone still in his hand.

"Dada?" She inquired. Danny smiled at her sadly.

"Sorry Kay, not yet." Makayla frowned and her bottom lip began to tremble.

"Dada." She whined as big fat tears started rolling down her chubby cheeks.

"No, baby girl don't cry. Please, Danno hates when his girls cry." Danny pleaded. He set the phone down on the table next to the photo album as he pulled his daughter into an embrace. Makayla resisted his comfort however and began to thrash violently in his arms. "Makayla." He chastised as he tried to hold her tighter. She was having none of it as she continued to buck in his arms.

"No!" She cried as she reared back, nearly head butting him in the process.

"I should have known that'd be your next word." Danny muttered as he struggled to keep a grip on her. Makayla began to sob in earnest now as she flailed and kicked in his arms.

"No Dada no!" She screamed.

Danny finally relented, realizing he was only making the situation worse by restraining her and allowed her to slide off his lap and onto the floor. Her feet hit the floor with a small thud and she grabbed onto the table as she quickly tottered away from him still crying loudly for her Dada. He remained seated on the couch with his head in hands. He knew she wasn't calling for him. She wanted her 'Daddy'. She wanted Steve.

And deep down in his heart, Danny couldn't deny the fact that he still wanted him too.

* * *

><p>Steve was anxious.<p>

He hadn't been able to fall back asleep after his early morning revelation and had just lain restlessly in the bed as the 'conversation' that he had had with his mother played on a continuous loop in his head.

"…_a gesture like this is exactly the kind of thing your father would have done…"_

"…_you swore you would never treat your family the way he treated us…"_

"…_you are so much like your father, you may not want to be, but you are…"_

Subconsciously, he had known that he was turning into his father for awhile. It was obvious now that the dream of his mother had been a figment of his imagination created as a way to help his mind process the situation. The problem was that he had made the conscious realization too late. The damage had already been done. Danny was gone.

Steve had asked Mason about his partner when his friend showed up before therapy as he always did. Mason had been reluctant to hand over the details but he seemed to sense the desperation in Steve's voice.

"_Chin sent him and the baby up to your dad's old fishing cabin up on the North Shore." Mason informed as he sank into the chair. _

"_What are you talking about? What cabin?" Steve asked, confusion written across his face._

"_I don't know. Some old place up in Haleiwa?" Mason shrugged as he butchered the town's pronunciation. It took a minute before realization set in for Steve. _

"_He still had that place?" He said incredulously. _

"_Apparently." Mason shrugged._

_Steve thought back to his childhood and summer days spent at the 'cabin' as his father had referred to it as. In reality it was really more of a beach shack that was in no way big enough for their family of four. Yet they had spent nearly every weekend in the summer there playing on the beach all day. At night, his dad would build a fire and they'd roast marshmallows while his mom sang old camp songs and his father told bad ghost stories. He had only been back to the cabin once since his mother died. His father had dragged him and Mary up there shortly after the funeral. They had tried to act normal but it was a futile effort. They weren't a family anymore, not with __**her. **_

Steve wasn't sure how Chin knew that his father had kept the cabin but he figured it probably had something to do with the fact that the older detective had spoken with Jack McGarrett far more frequently than Steve had over the last decade. It had probably been listed amongst his father's assets but the SEAL hadn't bothered to deal with any of the paperwork personally and instead had delegated the responsibility of settling his estate to a lawyer. The only thing Steve had done was made sure the deed to the house had been transferred over to him.

He wasn't sure why Jack had bothered to keep the place but he had a pretty good idea that it had something to do with his mother. She had loved the cabin and there were a lot of good memories associated with it. Absently, Steve had thought about sharing some of those memories with Danny and the girls. And then he remembered that he and Danny weren't talking which was the whole reason why his partner was at the cabin in the first place.

"_Call him." Mason encouraged as he watched Steve wage a messy battle within his own mind. _

"_I can't." Steve stated. Mason huffed indignantly. _

"_Why? Why the hell can't you open up to him? What is so damn terrifying that you would risk losing e__**verything **__by keeping silent about it? You're hurting him and yourself more by __**not **__talking about it then you would if you just spit it out." He exclaimed. Steve just looked at his friend._

"_No, Mase. It's not that I don't want to. It's that I physically. can't. I don't have my cell phone anymore." He replied. _

"_Oh." Mason said dumbly as he sat back in his chair. He pulled his phone off his belt and thrust it into the other man's hand. "Call. Him." _

Steve was still holding onto the cell hours later, his finger hovering over the send button as he worked up the courage to make the call. He knew he had to make the first step if he and Danny were ever going to fix things but there was a part of him that was afraid to put himself out there. What if Danny rejected him? What if he had already made up his mind to leave? What if he refuses to even try? _You'll never know if you don't make the call. _A small voice prodded. Taking a deep breath, Steve hit the send button and waited. The phone rang five times and his heart sank slightly.

_What if he doesn't answer at all? _


	34. We're Strangers Again

**A/n: **I repeat, don't hate me! I've broken this up into two parts so if you're all really good and review, I'll post the rest of it tomorrow.

_First we were strangers, down on our luck and both in need of a friend. We promised each other too much to live up to and now we're strangers again—Randy Travis, We're Strangers Again_

"Are you alright, Commander? You seem upset today?" Dr. Lewis inquired as she sat down for their daily session. She was used to him being sullen and slightly defensive whenever she was there but today he just seemed…sad and somewhat defeated.

"I'm fine. I just…" Steve stopped and ran his free hand over his face and the doc could tell he was struggling to give a full answer instead of dismissing his emotions. _Progress. _She thought to herself.

"You just what?" She pushed.

"I tried to call my husband today." He admitted.

Dr. Lewis' face remained neutral but her curiosity was definitely piqued. They hadn't talked much about his marriage before except to acknowledge that there were problems stemming from the mission that had landed him in the hospital. Getting him to talk about his relationship and the effect his actions had on it would be a huge step towards his mental recovery.

"And? How did the conversation go?"

"There was no conversation. He didn't answer." Steve shrugged, pretending like his heart hadn't completely sunk into his gut when the voicemail came on. _'This is Detective Williams. I am unable to take your call at this time….'_

"He didn't want to talk to you?"

"I guess." Another shrug and Dr. Lewis saw the walls going back up so she kept pushing.

"What did you want to talk to him about?"

_I wanted to say I was sorry. I was wrong. I wanted to beg him not to leave, to give me another chance. I swear I won't screw it up this time. _Steve's mind screamed but instead he answered. "I just wanted to talk to him. We haven't spoken in over a week." It sounded lame even to his own ears and he knew Dr. Lewis saw right through him.

"So if you were just calling to check in, why are you so disappointed that he didn't answer? Maybe he was busy or his phone was dead." She suggested. He frowned. "You had something important to tell him and you think the fact that he didn't answer means he didn't want to hear what you had to say."

"This is why I hate shrinks." Steve muttered as she hit the nail on the head.

"You know, we haven't talked much about your marriage other than the fact that your husband isn't around at the moment. You want to talk about why he left?" Dr. Lewis offered.

"God you ask a lot of questions." He grumbled.

"And you deflect most of them." She countered. "I'm only here to help." She reminded.

"And what makes you think you can help with this? I don't know if anything can help with this. I've lied, kept secrets, lashed out, pushed him away and then wondered why he wasn't around anymore. About the only thing I haven't done to ruin my marriage is cheat, though somehow I think that it might have been easier for him to forgive. I treated Danny exactly the way my father treated my mother and look how well that turned out for them!" Steve exclaimed.

"Is that what makes you mad? That you see your father in yourself?" Dr. Lewis questioned. She knew the issues that he had regarding his father and the subconscious impact that he had on his son's life.

"My father ruined our family." He declared. _Or so I thought._ The voice in the back of his mind pointed out.

"And now you've ruined yours." The doctor added. Steve didn't deny it.

"I just wanted to keep them safe. I had already failed my daughter once, I couldn't let it happen again."

"You had to end the threat once and for all. So you kept your distance to keep them safe." Dr. Lewis stated as she tried to follow his train of thought.

"Yes!" Steve shouted, sensing that someone finally understood what he had been trying to accomplish.

"Danny didn't understand. He couldn't get why you pushed him away because you couldn't explain it. You weren't sure he could ever understand your motives." She continued.

"But I did." Steve's eyes flew to the door where Danny stood with Makayla asleep on his shoulder. "I understood why you had to do it. I just didn't understand why you had to do it _alone." _He added.

"Detective Williams?" Dr. Lewis stood to face their guest while Steve could only stare as if he didn't quite believe what he was seeing.

"Sorry to interrupt but…I knocked." Danny declared.

"Didn't hear you knock." The phrase slipped out of Steve's mouth before he ever knew what he was saying.

"Well I did… Would you like me to leave?" Danny replied and Steve couldn't help the smile that came. _He remembers. _Dr. Lewis seemed to sense there was something significant about the exchange but choose not to acknowledge it.

"Depends. Can I hold my daughter?" Steve inquired.

"Oh you mean this sleeping lump that currently drooling through my shirt?" Danny commented as he shifted the baby in his arms slightly.

"Yeah."

"She's all yours big guy."

He crossed the last few steps from the door over to the bed and gently maneuvered Makayla so that she lay on Steve's chest so that his good arm could come up and support her. Steve looked down at her cherub face and something that had been loose in his chest suddenly clicked back into place.

"Sorry, forgive my manners." Danny said as he turned his attention towards the doctor. "Yes, I am Detective Williams. Please, call me Danny." He held out a hand to her.

"Jennifer Lewis." She introduced as she shook his hand.

"You're Steve's psychologist." He declared.

"Correct."

"I always said you needed mental help." Danny joked. Steve rolled his eyes.

"Well, I believe that you two have some things to discuss so I'm going to exit stage right." Dr. Lewis announced. "It was nice to meet you Danny. Commander, I'll see you tomorrow." Steve just nodded, not wanting to disturb the sleeping child in his arms.

Danny remained standing next to the bed, looking awkward now that there was no one around to act as a buffer between them. Steve sighed. They were good at faking it when other people were around- had done it for months prior to shelter Grace from their problems. But once they were alone, it was like they were stranger again.


	35. I Won't Give Up On Us

**A/n: **As promised, "the talk" that everyone has been so anxiously waiting for. I've decided that this is going to be the last chapter of this story and that I am going to continue on with the next part in another story. I have to break it up or this thing is going to be ridiculously long. So keep your eyes out for the next installment in this McDanno saga!

_Now this home that we built is still standing. It's foundation is on solid ground. Do we roll up our sleeves and repair it, or burn it down?—Randy Travis, Hard Rock Bottom of Your Heart_

_I don't want to be someone who walks away so easily I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make….and in the end you're still my friend at least we did intend for us to work yeah we didn't break, we didn't burn, we had to learn how to bend without the world caving in. I had to learn what I got, and what I'm not and who I am. I won't give up on us, god knows I'm tough enough, we've got a lot to learn and god knows we're worth it.—Jason Mraz, I Won't Give Up_

"I called." Steve stated softly as the silence dragged on between them.

"I know." Danny replied as he jammed his hands in his pockets. "I'm sorry I missed it. I was driving down the Poli highway through a monsoon with a screaming kid in the back seat. I had enough distractions and was trying to make it here in one piece." He explained, rocking slightly on his feet. Steve recognized it as one of his partner's nervous ticks. "Why did you call?"

Steve let out a long breath. Now that his partner was actually standing there in front of him, the words seemed a lot harder to actually say. _Say 'em or choke on 'em. _The little voice in his head (which was starting to sound suspiciously like Mason) encouraged. He licked his lips and attempted to swallow the lump in his throat.

"I wanted to say I was sorry." He admitted.

"For what? For lying? For keeping secrets? For lashing out and pushing me away?" Danny retorted, his voice slightly bitter sounding. Steve narrowed his stare at him as he heard his own words repeated back to him.

"How long were you standing there?" He inquired.

"Long enough." Danny answered quickly. "Here's what I don't get Steve. How could you possibly think I wouldn't understand your motives? I'm not some blissfully ignorant civilian who doesn't realize that there are some truly fucked up people in the world. _I know_, Steve. I see it every damn day, same as you. I knew how dangerous Wo Fat was. I knew the things he was capable of doing. I didn't need you to protect me from it!" Danny ranted, his eyes bright with indignation.

"I didn't want anything to happen to you." Steve replied, keeping his voice slightly lower than his partner's.

"That's bullshit and you know it. I face danger every single day on the job and it's never bothered you. It wasn't that you were afraid I would get hurt; it was that you were afraid I would stop you. You thought I'd say no and you didn't want to hear it. Well newsflash Steve, I wouldn't have stopped you. I wouldn't have liked it but I would have understood why you had to go. You weren't the only one affected by the things Wo Fat did. Makayla is my daughter too. I sat right alongside of you in this hospital, watching her struggle to survive." Danny's voice caught at the end and he looked away to hide the tears in his eyes.

"I never wanted to hurt you." Steve insisted.

"You keep saying that like I'm supposed to believe it." Danny huffed.

"Don't you?"

"I believe that you love me. I believe that you really did have good intentions for doing the things that you did. But I also believe that you didn't think I was capable of handling this and that's what hurts. Because not only am I your husband, Steve, I'm your partner. And if you can't trust me to have your back no matter the situation then we've got more problems." He informed matter-of-factly.

"You know I trust you." Steve replied, shaking his head.

"Yeah well you have a funny way of showing it." Danny shot back at him. Silence stretched between the two men for a few minutes as their words hung unsettled in the air. Eventually Steve nodded his head towards the empty chair, encouraging Danny to sit. This was going to take awhile.

"Why did you leave?" Steve finally asked, breaking the tense quiet in the room. "I mean, after everything with Rachel, I didn't think you'd be willing to walk away from another marriage so easily."

"I wasn't 'walking away', Steven. I just needed some time and space to think. We aren't exactly in a good place at the moment. Besides, you were the one who said you didn't need me and pushed me away, remember?" Danny pointed out as he settled into the chair.

"I was upset and lashing out. You knew I didn't mean it." Steve said rolling his eyes.

"That doesn't make it okay." Danny argued. "I was trying to help you."

"I didn't want your help." Steve countered.

"So you made it clear." His partner sighed and ran a hand across his forehead.

The silence that fell between them again was interrupted by a small whimper from Makayla as she started to wake up. She snuggled her face into Steve's shoulder for a moment before she lifted her head up. She blinked a few times as she came around and then a small smile broke out as her eyes fell across her father's face.

"Dada?" She asked as if she didn't believe what she was seeing. Steve shared a similar look of wonder as he realized what he'd just heard.

"Did she just…?"

"Yeah, it's her new trick." Danny confirmed with a smile. "Makayla, who's that?" He asked, pointing towards Steve.

"Dada!" She squealed as she sat herself up on his chest.

"Look at you, Mak!" Steve laughed. His smile threatened to break his face as he looked at his daughter. "You've gotten so big and smart while Daddy was away." He cooed.

"She's also already learned the word 'no' which should make the next oh…seventeen years interesting." Danny added, smiling himself as he watched the two of them interact. Steve's grin however began to fade as reality set in.

"I missed it." He whispered.

"Missed what?"

"Her first word. I missed it." He repeated, the joy now gone from his voice and replaced with sadness.

"No babe, don't beat yourself up over this. She just started talking this morning. You haven't missed anything." Danny insisted but Steve wasn't convinced.

"I missed the moment, Danny. That first exciting moment when you realize that she gets it, that she can communicate. I wasn't there for it." He stated as tears began to prick at the back of his eyes.

"You didn't miss anything, Steven. You just had that moment, right here. It doesn't matter where or when it happened. You got to experience the wonder of hearing your child say her first word." Danny corrected. He leaned forward slightly in his chair and rested a hand on Steve's good leg in reassurance.

Steve looked up at Makayla who was still smiling at him as she sat on him. He had been through a lot of terrible things in his life-the loss of his parents, the loss of friends, the destruction and misery he had both seen and created during his days as a SEAL—and he had made a lot of mistakes along the way as well. But somewhere along the way, despite all the pain and bad choices, he had still managed to find someone who loved him and that had given him the blessing of two amazing daughters. He had been given a second chance at a family whether he deserved it or not.

And as he lay there in that hospital bed with Danny and Makayla there with him, he realized that the greatest mistake he could possibly make was to let the two of them walk out of his life without a fight. They, along with Grace and the cousins and Mason, were the only things that truly mattered to him in this world. Without them, he had nothing. Without them, he was nothing.

"What are we going to do, Danny?" Steve asked as he looked over at his partner. "I don't want you to go. I don't want to live without you and I don't want to miss another moment in my children's lives. I want us to stay together. I know that you probably hate me, but do you think there is any way that you could possibly love me again?" Tears began to fall rapidly down his face as he pleaded with the man he loved.

"I don't hate you, Steven. I hate what you did." Danny reached up and brushed a few of the tears off of his cheek. "I don't want to live without you either. I want to stay together too but there has to be changes. You can't keep putting yourself in harm's way all the time. My heart can't take it. And you have to trust me enough to open up to me and tell me when something is bothering you so that I can help." His voice was soft as his tears began to mix with his partners.

"I promise." Steve vowed. He reached over and clasped Danny's hand with his good arm.

"It's going to take awhile for things to go back to normal. There a lot you and I still have to work out. But I'll be damned if we let this thing go without even trying to fix it." Danny declared. Steve just nodded and pulled their joined hands up to his lips where he placed a chaste kiss on Danny's knuckles.

"I'm glad you decided to come back." He acknowledged with small smile. Danny rolled his eyes and leaned over to give Steve a proper kiss.

"I didn't come back you goof….I came home."


End file.
